Category: Divorce

This question often comes up when ending a marriage: Does dating during divorce harm your case?

Divorce signals the end of a relationship. Whatever the reasons, it just didn’t work out, and divorce makes that final and official. Your marriage may have been over for a long time and the divorce process often feels like a waiting period.

By this point, you may want to get out there and explore new romantic possibilities. But along with this desire, there’s also the worry it may negatively impact the outcome of your divorce.

How Does Dating Affect Divorce?

Once you put the wheels in motion, it often sounds like the perfect time to re-enter the social scene. But you want to carefully consider your circumstances.

Dating during a divorce sometimes carries unforeseen and serious consequences when it comes to your case. It doesn’t happen in every situation, but it’s vital to understand the potential risks and hazards.

Dating during divorce, since the marriage is still legally intact, may technically constitute adultery. A lot of this revolves around the date of separation—when spouses no longer live together as a married couple and can freely begin new relationships.

Like most states in the union, Oregon practices no-fault divorce. This means neither party must prove the other is responsible for the breakup. In realistic terms, this means infidelity of any variety doesn’t often have a ton of impact on your divorce.

Related Reading: How to Divorce in Oregon

How Dating During Divorce Can Harm Your Case

That said, there are still ways dating during divorce often plays a role. As usual, it varies from case to case and can have an effect in certain circumstances. Still, here’s what you need to keep an eye on.

Division of Property

During the division of property in a divorce, the goal is generally for both spouses to emerge on relatively even footing. Beyond that, the idea is for each to maintain a lifestyle equivalent to the one enjoyed during the marriage.

For the most part, dating during a divorce doesn’t generally factor into this realm. But it can. Living situation directly impacts lifestyle and needs.

Even if there’s no cohabitation, expenses accrued during a relationship can play a part. Dates, dinners, nights out, vacations, gifts, and more, all of these costs add up.

If that money comes from shared accounts, or one party runs up new debts on joint credit cards, the responsible spouse needs to account for all of that. This may influence the division of property down the road.

Related Reading: The Division of Property in Oregon

Child Custody and Visitation

In child custody cases, the court places the best interests of any minor children above all other concerns. Despite parental preference or convenience, if it’s not the better choice for the kids, it’s not the better choice in their eyes. Plain and simple.

Dating during divorce can affect child custody or visitation in a couple of ways. Again, can is the key word here.

One of the key pieces the courts look at when deciding on child custody is safety. If a new significant other, or even a string of unhealthy relationships, jeopardizes this, the court considers it.

Living with a new partner who has a negative influence or even poses a potential threat also obviously impacts your custody case in a negative way.

When there’s even a question of that, your ex will more than likely bring it up in a heated custody battle. Even if it only looks like you’re more interested in going out and dating than focusing on your children, that can damage your cause.

Kids go through a lot during a divorce, and it’s often tough to watch parents dating during a divorce. They may not be entirely comfortable with your choice of romantic partners, or your ex’s for that matter.

While the courts don’t usually allow the children’s feelings to sway these decisions, they may listen to what older children have to say. Everyone has a tough time, but kids are especially susceptible.

Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

Child Support and Spousal Support Payments

Dating during divorce is one thing, but cohabitating with a romantic partner is another. When it comes to determining child support and spousal support, this move may have a dramatic impact. Living with someone often plays into how much support the courts ultimately award.

When it comes to figuring out child support if you’re granted custody, the state of Oregon has a formula. It accounts for many factors, including need, income, parenting time, and more.

It also considers living expenses.

If you live with someone new and share expenses, this may lessen the amount of child support you receive.

In terms of spousal support, dating during divorce also wields substantial influence. Less formulaic than child support, the court weighs, among other elements, factors like:

• • Need.
  • Future earning potential.
  • Health.
  • Age.
  • What is just and equitable given the circumstances.

Again, splitting expenses by sharing a home with another person may, in some cases, undercut alimony payments.

Related Reading: Common Child Support Questions Answered

Dating During Conflict

Ending a marriage is already an intense and emotional time. Feelings are raw and egos get bruised. In some cases, dating during divorce accentuates these ill feelings. Seeing your ex with a new partner, or vice versa often intensifies conflict. For many people, it’s hard not to take it personally.

Your ex may push harder or be more resistant than otherwise out of spite, whether conscious or not.

If there are claims of adultery or marital misconduct, the other side may point toward dating during divorce to support those accusations, true or not.

In short, it can make an already tense situation that much worse.

Getting back out there after a marriage ends and starting to live life again is an important step for many people. Just because one relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean all are doomed to the same fate. Especially if you meet the new love of your life.

At the same time, it’s important to consider the impact of dating during a divorce. Think about how it influences your case, what your kids think, and how it affects your life moving forward.

Don’t make hasty, rash decisions, and don’t rub your ex’s nose in it. At best, that makes you look bad. At worst, you may hand your ex a potential advantage in the divorce process.

Related Reading: How Does Legal Marijuana Impact Child Custody?

Looking at divorce statistics often gets overwhelming. It’s harrowing to hear that oft-repeated statement that 50% of marriages end in divorce. (FYI: The 50% figure is not accurate and has never reached that level.)

Sometimes it’s tough to interpret the raw numbers and determine what they really mean. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some interesting, useful, or just downright surprising divorce statistics and provide some additional context.

By the Numbers

• The median ages for first marriages in the United States are 26.9 years old for men and 25.3 years old for women.
• On the other end, the average age for couples going through their first divorce is approximately 30 years old—30.5 for men, 29 for women.
• The average length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is roughly eight years—7.8 years for men, 7.9 for women.
• Moving into second marriages that end in divorce, the timeline shortens somewhat. In these cases, the median length for men is 7.3 years, while for women it drops to 6.8 years.
• If a person does ultimately remarry, the average time between their divorce and the next wedding is around three years—3.3 years for men, 3.1 years for women.
• 2021, the most recent data available, saw 689,308 divorces and annulments in the United States. This represents a drop from 877,000 in 2011. In fact, the number of divorces in America has declined almost every year this millennium.
• This number breaks down to almost 1889 divorces per day. Which averages out to roughly 79 divorces per hour and just over 1.3 divorces per minute.

Related Reading: Millenials, Boomers, And Gen X-ers Oh My: Breaking Down Divorce Rates By Generation

More Marriages = More Divorces

It seems logical to think that after one divorce, people are less likely to divorce again. You learn some things through your experience and emerge wiser, with a better sense of what you want and need. Right?

That certainly happens in some cases. People become more cautious and make sure a relationship is sturdy and stable before taking that next step. But that’s not how it happens in every case. Looking at the divorce statistics illustrates this point.

In reality, with each subsequent marriage, the chances of divorce greatly increase. The numbers break down like this:

• 41% of first marriages end in divorce.
• 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
• 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

While these numbers appear staggering at first glance, it helps to remember that as a person goes along, the sample size shrinks significantly. There are substantially fewer third marriages than second, and substantially fewer second than first marriages.

However, after all of this, if you still marry a fourth time, you may just be a glutton for punishment.

Related Reading: What are Grounds for Divorce in Oregon?

How Common Are Second Marriages?

Divorce is so commonplace that most people barely bat an eye when finding out someone was married. Most of us have friends, family members, or are ourselves divorced.

In 2004, a U.S. Census Bureau survey found that in 36% of weddings, at least one spouse was remarrying. That means, in more than one-third of marriages, one party had previously been married.

This doesn’t mean, however, that every marriage ends in divorce or that everyone marries multiple times.

In fact, like the divorce rate, the rate of remarriage has also declined steadily over the years. Research shows that between 1990 and 2019, the remarriage rate dropped nearly 50%.

Men are statistically more likely to remarry, with a 35.1% remarriage rate, than women, who remarry at a 19.4% rate.

Related Reading: Has The Divorce Rate Ever Been 50%? Nope.

Declining Marriage Rates

The overall marriage rate has declined steadily over the last few decades. Young people between the ages of 20-34 opting not to marry, or pushing it off until later in life, is a significant contributing factor.

Since 2000, the percentage of this age group who haven’t married has spiked in every state. According to one 2016 report, 81% of this demographic in Washington DC remains unmarried.

This number may be exaggerated in city centers where young people relocate to work, but it reflects a broader trend. In many states, the number currently hovers around 70%, whereas at the turn of the 21st century, the highest was 57%.

Recent numbers are themselves indicative of a larger evolution. As of the 2020 U.S. Census, 46.9% of the population, more than 92 million Americans, were part of a married couple. This marks a decline from 2000, where that figure was approximately 55%, which continues a trend. For context, in 1990, that number was in the 60% range, and in 1970, it was above 70%

Related Reading: 10 Truly Scary Divorce Facts

What Do These Divorce Statistics Mean?

In the end, what do all of these divorce statistics mean? They show current trends and illustrate how ideas on marriage and divorce evolve over time. They provide a removed, big-picture glimpse at the state of marriage and divorce.

What these divorce statistics don’t offer is a look at individual situations and specific circumstances. It’s easy to glance at these figures out of context and think everything is doomed. But these numbers are just that, numbers.

Divorce statistics that lean one way or another don’t mean that’s how every marriage plays out. Sometimes second and even third marriages stick and are wonderful. The people involved and the work they put in determine the success or failure of a marriage, not the numbers.

Related Reading: Breaking Down Rates Divorce By Generation

Over the course of the process of ending a marriage, things tend to get messy and complicated. There are a number of common mistakes made in divorce. Mistakes that damage your own case.

In straightforward, low-conflict cases, things may progress smoothly. However, with forms to fill out, appointments to appear at, and many other moving parts, it doesn’t take much for problems to arise. That doesn’t even take flaring emotions into account.

Mistakes Men Make in Divorce

Men often make mistakes in divorce in a number of areas. It’s vital to know these common missteps and steer clear of easily avoidable problems.

Ill-advised choices harm your cause in a variety of ways. You may miss out on assets in the division of property. Mistakes can impact spousal maintenance, child support, or even custody arrangements.

What Not To Do

Don’t Ignore Finances

This should come as no surprise, but divorce is expensive. One of the frequent mistakes men make in divorce is ignoring finances. It costs money to file papers or respond to a motion. Then there are attorney’s fees.

When preparing for divorce, put money aside so unexpected expenses don’t blindside you.

Beyond that, you also have many other factors to consider, including:

• • Keep an eye on joint bank accounts or credit cards.
  • Make moves to establish your own individual accounts.
  • If you’re on your spouse’s health insurance, you need to find your own coverage.
  • Document all of your assets and debts.
  • Don’t forget about your financial paperwork. This includes bank statements, retirement papers, loan documents, life insurance policies, investments, and other similar documents.

You have to submit this to the court anyway, so having it ready in advance saves time.

It also gives you a clear picture of what you have. Too often, men think they have a handle on what they make and spend, only to have that come back and bite them.

Related Reading: How Do Major Purchases Affect Divorce?

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Don’t Settle On Unfavorable Terms

Even in the best of times, divorce is stressful and emotional. By the time you reach this point, you probably just want it to be over and done with as fast as possible.

That’s a natural feeling. But it also leads people to damage their own divorce cases and is a common mistake men make in divorce.

Too frequently, people agree to unfavorable terms in a settlement simply to get to the end. Dissolving a marriage hurts and the process takes a long time, but don’t settle just to speed things up. Take the time to consider what you truly want and go after it.

Finances, child custody, spousal support, and more have huge impacts on your future. It’s important to take the time and get what you need from divorce.

Related Reading: How Long Does Divorce Take?

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Don’t Move Out Too Soon

If your marriage is broken beyond hope of repair, it makes logical sense to move out of a shared home. However, while moving out seems like a natural choice, it can have serious long-term consequences you need to be aware of.

In terms of custody, moving out may create the perception, true or not, that you’re abandoning your kids or that you’re not a dedicated parent. Children pick up on tensions at home and no children want to watch their parents fight.

The urge to escape this conflict or alleviate the tension is natural, but it can also hurt your chances of getting custody down the road. The courts want to limit changes in a child’s life, so if you establish a precedent that you’re okay with minimal parenting time, that can come back on you.

In terms of property division, moving out of a shared home can diminish your claim to it later. A house is likely the most valuable thing you own. Because of this, it’s also the most substantial piece on the table when it comes to splitting up assets.

In regards to spousal support, when you move out, the bills still stay behind. Even after setting up a new residence for yourself, the court may presume that the amount you pay in both residences is financially viable and order you to continue to pay that amount, or something similar.

Related Reading: Moving Out Too Soon, How Does it Negatively Affect Your Divorce?

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Don’t Be Passive

Don’t be too passive in the divorce process.

You may want to get this over and done as quickly as possible. It’s easy to agree to everything your spouse proposes and move on. After all, it cuts down the conflict and speeds things up.

But that can harm your best interests and cause serious long-term financial consequences.

The division of property, spousal support, and child custody all greatly impact the next step. Take the time to figure out what you want and fight for it when necessary.

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Don’t Argue About Every Asset

The flip side of that coin is arguing about everything. This is one of the big mistakes men make in divorce.

You may not want your ex to get anything and fight every step of the way. After years of marriage, you’re bound to have legitimate disputes.

But some people fight out of spite or revenge. This gets expensive, wastes everybody’s time, and leads to more conflict and trouble than necessary.

In general, the court divides property in an equitable fashion anyway. It may skew one way or another, but overall, the scales rarely tip severely to one side.

Also, fighting about every individual item gets exhausting. You have way more important things to spend your energy on. Again, think about what you truly want and truly need. Pick your battles where they’re most important.

Related Reading: What is Legal Separation and Is it Right for You?

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Don’t File For Divorce When You Aren’t Prepared

Many think that being first out of the gates gives you an advantage and rush to file for divorce first. This does prove true in some cases, but not all. Depending on the situation, this strategy can cause people to seriously damage their own divorce cases.

If you’ve prepared ahead of time, have everything in order, and feel ready, by all means, file the paperwork and start the divorce process. But too often, people don’t adequately prepare first.

Organize your documents, set money aside, and have a clear plan of action. Establishing a solid foundation for your case benefits you far more than being the first to file. In the end, both sides have the opportunity to present their cases, and most of the time, any advantage to filing first is relatively minimal. Being prepared and organized has much more of an impact.

Related Reading:  Divorce And Filing Forms: How To Get Divorced In Oregon

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Not Consulting An Attorney

It’s easier than ever to take a do-it-yourself approach to end your marriage. Online resources offer a step-by-step guide through the process. Just download the forms and with a minimum of fuss, you can file, pay the fees, and be on your way.

While it’s ideal for certain situations, this DIY approach often leads people to damage their own divorce cases.

This strategy works best in simple situations. Usually, this means shorter marriages without children and with little or no shared property. DIY often works well in these scenarios.

But the longer a marriage, the more complicated the case, and the more complex the process will become. The potential to make mistakes increases, and it’s possible to do a great deal of harm without speaking with an attorney.

One of the common mistakes men make in divorce is thinking they don’t need help. It puts you at an even greater disadvantage if your spouse has an attorney and you don’t.

Related Reading: What is Pro Se Divorce? A Look At DIY

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Don’t Ignore Self-Care or Mental-Wellness

Mental health is a prominent casualty of divorce. Men are more likely to suffer from depression in the aftermath. This despair often leads to a downward spiral—sometimes gradual, sometimes rapid.

Dont Keep It To Yourself and Bottling It Up

Often arriving with a potent cocktail of guilt, anxiety, uncertainty, grief, and even fear, divorce can be a sucker-punch to self-worth and self-esteem.

Programmed to suffer in silence, many men carry this heavy weight on their shoulders alone rather than turning to friends, family, loved ones, or even professionals to help cope with these feelings.

This frequently becomes a negative influence on overall mental and emotional health.

• • Men are more likely to suffer from depression following divorce.
  • Alcohol abuse, drug use, and other potentially detrimental behaviors spike in the wake of divorce as many men look to otherwise occupy themselves.
  • Following a divorce, suicide rates in men swell.
  • Men have been shown to be at an increased risk for a variety of health issues after divorce. This includes hypertension, heart disease, and even cancer, among other serious concerns.

You don’t need to post every thought you have on Facebook—in fact, maybe stay off social media during the divorce—but it’s nice to have people to confide in. You may even want to look into seeing a therapist. Professionals offer helpful insight and advice in trying times.

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Your Lawyer Can’t Be Your Therapist

Divorce lawyers are privy to intimate details about your life. Often things no one else knows, not even close friends. Too often this leads people to unburden themselves. This costs time and, importantly in this case, money.

Your lawyer wants the best outcome for you and should empathize with your situation. But they’re not your confidant. Their job is not to offer emotional support and help you deal with personal problems.

Talking to a therapist, counselor, or support group is beneficial and healthy. It’s often a key part of dealing with the complex emotions of divorce, recovering, and moving on.

Also, a mental health professional has more tools and resources to help you through an emotional, turbulent time. They’re better equipped to help with what you’re going through. And likely less expensive.

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Don’t Act Out Of Spite

Divorce often comes with wounded feelings, anger, and disappointment, all of which may well be justified. But acting out of spite and using this as a tool to get revenge is one way people damage their own divorce cases.

More often than not, this makes the situation messier than it needs to be.

It creates hostility, conflict, and additional problems. People often waste time and energy, and money, fighting about things that are in reality relatively minor.

Divorce is a complex process with many roadblocks and problems that pop up. This list represents just a few common mistakes men make in divorce. Much of your future hinges on decisions you make here and now, so it’s vital to spend the time and effort to get it right.

Related Reading: Do You Qualify For A Summary Dissolution?

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From Goldberg Jones Radio

People love to celebrate. We’ll take any excuse to throw a party, whether it’s a holiday, a promotion at work, or the Trailblazers making a playoff run. While we usually think of ending a marriage as a serious, somber affair, that’s not always the case. Increasingly, many people take the occasion as an excuse to celebrate divorce.

It’s difficult to end a marriage and it alters your life in almost every way. Even when it’s the right decision, the absolute best choice, that doesn’t make it any easier. There’s so much stress and emotion involved that when it’s finally over, it’s normal to feel an intense sense of relief and even freedom.

It’s easy to wallow, but more and more, people choose to celebrate divorce instead. And what better time to party than when you close the door on a painful chapter of your life and start off in a new direction?

Commemorating the dissolution of marriage takes many forms. One company sells tiny coffins to bury your wedding ring, and people often burn mementos from their relationship in a cathartic act. But let’s take a look at some of the more festive, life-affirming, and downright fun ways people celebrate divorce.

Ways to Celebrate Divorce:

Divorce Parties

What better way to celebrate divorce than by throwing a party? This is also probably the most obvious, high-profile ritual for moving forward. Who doesn’t want to be surrounded by loved ones and have a good time after a trying experience?

Divorce parties take many forms and cut across the whole spectrum. Maybe your ideal way to celebrate divorce is to share a quiet meal, a few drinks, and some laughs with close friends. Then again, after ending your marriage, maybe you’re in the mood for an all-out rager the cops have to bust up.

How you celebrate divorce boils down to personal preference. But this type of revelry has become so commonplace that party planners and event specialists regularly field such requests. From subdued to outrageous, no matter your tastes, there’s someone out there to help you plan the perfect divorce party.

Related Reading: Surviving Thanksgiving For Divorced Dads

Divorce Cakes

What’s a party without a cake? And what’s a divorce party without a divorce cake? A wedding cake is an integral, symbolic part of most marriage ceremonies, so it adds a bit of poetic justice to have one at the other end.

A veritable cottage industry has sprung up around divorce cakes. Just do a quick Google image search to see the incredible variety that exists in the world.

These divorce desserts run the gamut from simple sheet cakes with words like “Freedom” written in frosting to elaborate, multi-tiered confectionary wizardry.

Think broken hearts, a chocolate ball and chain, and effigies of exes being devoured by monsters. Astonishing inventiveness abounds, and there’s a certain catharsis to literally biting off your ex’s head, even if it’s only in tasty dessert form.

Related Reading: How Oregon Divides Property in Divorce

Divorce Selfies

Selfies are a ubiquitous presence these days, so the rise of divorce selfies probably shouldn’t surprise anyone. Couples amicably ending a marriage have started taking to social media to joyously celebrate divorce and share their enthusiasm with the world.

Often these photos take the form of a smiling, otherwise happy-looking couple. They brandish divorce certificates or show off a newly ring-free finger on their left hand. Some are simple, straightforward, and spur-of-the-moment, while others are more elaborate and planned out in advance.

Ending a marriage doesn’t always have to be dour and rife with conflict, and divorce selfies illustrate this. Not every split turns into a contentious, knock-down-drag-out fight between spouses. And marriages don’t always end on bad terms. Maybe your union just didn’t work or the two of you simply grew in different directions.

It’s possible to divorce and move forward with positivity, to see divorce as a good thing, and that’s worth celebrating.

And even if their divorce was a hellacious affair, many still take to social media to mark the occasion. After all, pics or it didn’t happen, right?

Related Reading: Ways to Prepare for Divorce

Do Something You Always Wanted To Do

Divorce often comes with a newfound feeling of freedom and liberation, like casting off an anchor that held you down. One way many people celebrate divorce and this fresh independence is to do something they’ve always wanted to do but haven’t been able to do before.

How this urge manifests is as different as the individual people out there. Maybe you’ve always wanted to travel abroad, go on a cross-country road trip, or live in a new city. Perhaps it’s time to challenge yourself and train for that marathon you’ve dreamed of running. Have you always wanted a tattoo but your ex hated body art?

Newly unfettered by the bonds of marriage, one way to celebrate divorce is to indulge these whims.

Related Reading: Breaking Down Divorce Rates by Generation

Reinvent Yourself

Along the same lines, starting over means that you have the opportunity to start fresh and reinvent yourself. You can revamp your personal style, update your wardrobe, or get in shape. Now you have the freedom to release your dormant passions, experiment with new ones, and become the best version of yourself.

People have come up with all manner of ways to celebrate divorce. From gift cards and bumper stickers to massive parties and completely retooling their lives, endless possibilities await.

People react to ending a marriage in a variety of fashions. But it’s probably best to celebrate divorce in a positive way, to revel rather than mourn. Especially if you have children, it’s important to keep things amicable. You’ll have to deal with your ex on a continual basis, and rubbing their nose in it will likely lead to bad feelings and friction.

Related Reading: 9 Common Mediation Questions Answered

The old maxim goes: never talk politics or religion in polite company.

It’s taken numerous forms over the years, but that’s the general gist. And it’s solid advice. People feel passionate about these topics and conversations often become heated. Friendships have ended for less.

It’s one thing if coworkers or even friends have drastically different political beliefs. This often leads to difficult interactions in social situations or at your job. That’s hard enough to handle. But it’s something else when it’s your spouse.

In reality, politics and political leanings often have a huge impact on the stability of relationships and marriages. Ongoing political disagreements often lead to divorce. And it’s only getting worse.

With divisive political figures, most notably Donald Trump, amongst others, and contentious issues cropping up on a regular basis, it’s increasingly common to see cases where politics cause divorce.

Related Reading: Has The Divorce Rate Ever Been 50%? Nope.

The Trump Effect

Popularized as “The Trump Effect,” the 45th President of the United States had a significant impact on divorce and relationships. He mobilized a wave of supporters, exploited key differences, and created a significant rift in many circumstances.

His presence in the Oval Office also had a substantial impact on personal relationships. Friendships ended, families were at odds, and marriages came to an end, all because of individual feelings toward the former POTUS. A trend that has continued.

One of the most highly publicized examples is the case of Gayle McCormick. The 73-year-old retired California prison guard divorced her husband of 22 years because he voted for Trump. She called it a “deal-breaker” and said she felt “betrayed.”

Related Reading: Saving Money on Divorce

Generational Differences and Politics

While McCormick’s case may be the most well-known, she’s nowhere near the only one to react this way. In December 2016, a poll of 6000 people found that 16% of those who responded stopped talking to a friend or family member as a direct result of the election. 17% also said they blocked friends or family on social media for the same reasons.

Wakefield Research, a marketing firm, also conducted a similar survey. Their in-depth study of 1000 “nationally representative U.S. adults” found comparable results.

Their collected data indicates that 11% of Americans, more than one in ten, have ended relationships over political differences.

For younger generations, this number climbs steeply.

• According to the responses, 22% of Millennials, more than one-fifth, have ended a romantic relationship because of political strife.
• 22% of people in the Wakefield survey know someone “whose marriage or relationship has been negatively impacted specifically due to President Trump’s election.”
• This number skyrockets for younger people, spiking to 35% for Millennials.

Related Reading: Breaking Down Divorce Rates By Generation

Political Differences and Divorce

Politics and divorce often go hand in hand. Such disputes have always been a huge source of shattered marriages. That’s unlikely to change anytime soon. But what can you do if you and your spouse fall on opposite ends of the political spectrum?

Such conflict can kill relationships and lead to divorce. Can is the keyword.

Just because such differences often cause conflict that ends marriages, that doesn’t mean they will. It’s not inevitable.

Every situation involves different people and no two play out exactly the same. If you and your spouse have political disagreements, whether that leads to divorce depends on you.

Some couples are able to work around opposing views. It may take time and effort, or even steps like counseling, but it may be possible. One approach is to focus on the values you share instead of those you don’t.

People from all walks of life, backgrounds, and political parties marry and lead happy lives. It happens all the time. But even if a couple finds a temporary solution, that may not be the best base for a successful marriage.

Related Reading: Creating a Divorce Strategy

Ignorance is not Bliss

Pretending a disagreement doesn’t exist isn’t a great strategy. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.

It may work in the short term, but it can lurk under the surface and cause unseen, unacknowledged tension. In the end, burying it may only lead to a bigger fight down the road.

At some point, if you can’t find a way to comfortably live together, you may need to reexamine your marriage.

Some differences are simply too profound, too fundamental to get past. No matter how much you care about one another, you may need to take a long, hard look at your situation and give it an honest evaluation.

Can you continue to live with and love a person you disagree with on a basic, deep-down level?

Only you can answer that question for yourself, but it’s one you need to figure out eventually. At some point, the detriments start to outweigh the benefits and it’s important to determine what you need and what’s in your best interest.

Related Reading: Divorce Statistics: Interesting & Surprising