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Category: Divorce

  • Equitable Distribution of Property During Divorce

    Key Takeaways:

    • Oregon uses equitable distribution, as do most states, rather than community property, to divide assets and debts during a divorce.
    • Equitable doesn’t mean equal; it aims to divide assets between the parties fairly.
    • The goal is for both to maintain a standard of living similar to what they had when they were married.
    • Separate or premarital property is excluded and remains with the individual who earned it.
    • After assets and debts have been classified as marital or separate property, a value or liability is assigned to each.
    • The court then divvies them up between the two parties in the fairest, most egalitarian way possible.

    Laws and regulations vary a great deal from state to state, so where you live often has a huge impact on your divorce, especially the division of property.

    Though the regions to the north and south of us both take the community property approach, they’re actually in the minority. Only a handful of states—and Alaska by agreement—adhere to community property statutes. The rest practice equitable distribution, and Oregon falls into this category.

    How Is Property Divided In Divorce In Equitable Distribution?

    In community property states, all assets, property, and debts acquired during a marriage are considered to belong equally to both spouses.

    Equitable distribution, on the other hand, views them as belonging to the individual spouse who earned them.

    When it comes to divorce, no set rules for the division of property exist. Instead, the court aims to divide assets between both parties in a fair and equitable manner.

    The two sides sit down, usually with attorneys, judges, or mediators, to determine the division of property. The ultimate goal is for both to maintain a standard of living similar to what they enjoyed during the marriage.

    Related Reading: The Impact of Major Purchases on Divorce

    Separate Versus Joint Property

    Before getting down to the business of the division of property, it’s important to know that there are two kinds of property: separate property and joint property. Oregon treats both types of assets differently.

    Separate /Premarital Property:

    As you probably infer from the name, separate property belongs to one spouse or the other. Though usually something owned before marriage, this category also includes gifts or inheritance. The court can include separate property when dividing assets if fairness dictates, but in general, it remains with the owner.

    In the case of premarital property, it also usually stays with the original owner. For example, if you bought a car and kept it registered in your name, it will likely remain yours. This gets cloudy in longer-term marriages or in cases where assets commingle. In longer marriages, lives become much more intertwined, and the line between separate and marital property blurs.

    Joint /Marital Property:

    Property acquired or earned during a marriage generally constitutes marital property.

    Despite a name on a title, with equitable distribution, Oregon courts presume both spouses contributed to any assets acquired during the marriage, whether true or not. Property equally acquired is subsequently equally distributed in divorce, in a fair, equitable fashion.

    Spouses can work out the division of property on their own. If both sides agree, the court will generally accept it, unless it skews drastically in favor of one party. Even once the courts get involved, you can make a case for ownership.

    You can argue that the other spouse didn’t contribute as much to a certain acquisition. Or the two sides can bargain and haggle. For instance, perhaps you’re willing to cede possession of a car in exchange for the title to a boat.

    Related Reading: Student Loan Debt And Divorce

    What Factors Influence the Division of Property?

    The reality of property division varies from case to case. Things often become tricky when it comes to determining what belongs to whom.

    Equitable distribution doesn’t mean the court divides all assets in half.

    The court attempts to divide the assets fairly. To accomplish this goal, they need a clear picture of who owns what individually and what belongs to the couple as a unit.

    The court looks at many factors:

    • The number of properties.
    • If significant items, such as a house or other property, need to be sold, the court considers the associated costs and expenses.
    • This also includes things like taxes and fees.
    • Pensions and retirement plans.
    • Medical bills.
    • If only one spouse works, the court accounts for the other party’s role and contributions as a homemaker.

    In many cases, the court subsequently distributes these items or assets in a fitting manner.

    During the division of property, however, you can dispute this approach. You can argue your ex didn’t contribute equally to the acquisition, make a case for possession, or barter for ownership.

    Once the assets and debts have been classified as either marital or separate property, a value or liability is assigned to each. The court then divvies them up between the two parties in the fairest, most egalitarian way possible.

    Anticipated costs also figure into the division of property.

    If you have children, the court accounts for their ongoing needs. This includes the ability to pay child support and provide for their care and well-being. For example, the custodial parent may receive the marital home for stability and continuity.

    While a number of considerations factor into the process, one that doesn’t, is fault.

    Oregon is a no-fault divorce state, so who caused the split doesn’t affect how assets are divided. Individual judges also have their own interpretations and applications of the laws and regulations. As a result, no two divorces ever play out identically.

    Related Reading: How Long Does Divorce Take in Oregon?

    Dealing With Major Assets, Like A House

    Major assets can complicate the property division process, but there are multiple ways to approach this.

    Houses offer a prime example.

    For most people, a house is the biggest purchase they ever make and their most valuable possession. Because of this, they’re also usually the most significant piece of the puzzle in the divorce settlements.

    In these situations, you have three common strategies:

    • You sell the home and split the earnings.
    • One spouse buys out the other and refinances in their name.
    • If there are children, the custodial parent continues to live in the home for a period. Most often, this lasts until the youngest child turns 18 or graduates from high school. At that time, they either buy out the other spouse or sell the house and split the proceeds.

    Related Reading: Should You Sell Your Home During Divorce?
    Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided?

  • Ways Moving Out Can Affect The Outcome Of Your Divorce

    Key Takeaways:

    • It’s best to have temporary court orders in place before you go. Without them, what you do now can set precedents that can last for years.
    • Child Custody Claims: Courts try not to drastically change a child’s schedule. The less time you spend with them now, the less likely it is to change after finalizing the divorce.
    • Property Division: Moving out of a home with your name on the title may affect your claim to it down the road. 
    • Bills: Even if you move out, the bills remain. You’ll also have new bills at your new residence. The court may assume paying for both is financially viable, so you might be ordered to continue that financial support.
    • Spousal Support: That financial precedent can also lead to higher spousal support payments if they’re ordered.
    • Loss of Access to Belongings: Losing access to your possessions and important documents.

    Should you move out during a divorce? This question comes up all the time, and the answer isn’t as obvious as most people expect.

    By the time you finally decide to divorce, most couples live apart. That’s just how it usually goes. Especially in high-conflict situations, it seems like a natural choice. After all, if all you do is bicker, this eliminates strife, stress, and frustration.

    How Can Moving Out During a Divorce Negatively Affect You?

    Moving out probably looks like a no-brainer, right? Not so fast. There’s more to consider than you might expect.

    In reality, moving out of a shared home can negatively impact your divorce in various ways.

    Ways Moving Out Can Affect Your Divorce

    From child custody to the division of property, it’s important to know what you’re in for. You may feel like you absolutely have to get out, especially if your safety is in jeopardy, but you should still know the possible consequences if you jump ship too soon.

    You Can Damage Your Child Custody Claim

    One of the most significant ways moving out can affect your divorce is in child custody. If you move out, you won’t spend as much time with your kids. Not only can this harm your relationship, but it can also damage your custody claims.

    Kids pick up on tensions at home, and no children want to watch their parents fight. Maybe moving out helps alleviate this. In the short term, that’s often the effect. Down the road, however, it may hurt your chances of getting custody.

    For the most part, courts try not to drastically change a child’s schedule or living situation if possible. This includes radically altering parenting time. The less time you spend with them now, the less likely that is to change much after finalizing the divorce.

    One option, if you do move out, is to have a parenting plan or custody arrangement already in place. This protects the time you have with your children. It’s also important to make use of the opportunities you do have with them. Make them the priority and maintain a major, active presence in their life.

    This shows the court you have an earnest interest in being a parent. The more involved you stay in regular, daily activities, the more likely that will endure following a divorce.

    Related Reading: Special Needs, Divorce, and Child Custody

    Affect On Your Finances and Property Division

    Another way moving out may significantly impact your divorce is financially, and with the division of property.

    It’s expensive to set up a new home. You need furniture, there’s rent, and maybe you haven’t bought silverware in a while. Then there’s the fact that you often have to pay all the bills from a single paycheck for the first time in years. That’s not cheap.

    It’s important to understand that the actions you take now can set a financial prescedent that you may be expected to continue after your divorce is final.

    For example, if you pay bills in both homes, you might be ordered to continue that financial support.

    In most cases, houses are the biggest things you buy in your lifetime. It’s likely the most valuable thing you own. Because of this, it’s also the most substantial piece on the table when it comes to splitting up assets.

    When you move out of a home with your name on the title, it may weaken your claim. Ultimate ownership is difficult to determine if there’s an argument over who the court should award it to.

    Related Reading: Common Mistakes Men Make In Divorce

    Lack Of Access To Paperwork

    People also often neglect paperwork when moving out of a shared home. Divorce requires all kinds of records:

      • Bank statements.
      • Credit histories.
      • Loan documents.
      • Life insurance policies.
      • Retirement papers.
      • Other financial documents.

    It’s important you don’t move out and leave them behind, but many people do. They’re easy to overlook and probably not your main concern in the moment. And while we do so much online now, you may still receive paper statements at home.

    Collect what you need, change addresses and contact information when necessary, and ensure you retain access to the important papers.

    Much like access to paperwork, moving out also impacts access to other possessions. It’s one thing if you pack up everything you own when you hit the road. But if you don’t, it’s often hard to get back into the house. If things are bad, it’s not unheard of for an ex to damage or get rid of items you left behind.

    Related Reading: How A Major Purchase Can Impact Your Divorce

    Moving Out Can Affect Spousal Support Payments

    When you move out, the bills stay behind. In some cases, temporary orders compel you to continue paying during the divorce. It’s common to have to cover your share month to month, even if you live elsewhere. This also often sets a negative precedent regarding spousal support.

    The court may presume that the amount you pay is financially viable and order you to continue to pay that amount, or something similar. A temporary situation may very well become permanent and sap your finances for years.

    While you crash with friends or relatives, you may inadvertently prove to the court how much your ex needs and how much you can afford, whether that’s accurate or not.

    On occasion, moving out can set a positive precedent for spousal support. If your ex steps up and manages the finances and home maintenance alone, it may indicate less need and lead to smaller payments. It is a risk, however. In addition, paying much less in monthly support can help in future proceedings.

    Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Attorney?

    Should You Move Out?

    None of this is to say you can’t move out during a divorce. You may need to, especially if a living situation becomes unsafe. It should be noted, though, that outside of a movie plot, you cannot be kicked out of your home without a court order.

    But in general, unless the court specifically orders you to, or it’s a safety issue, we don’t recommend vacating until temporary orders are in place.

    As long as it’s safe, we strongly urge you to stay at least until you consult an attorney. Since it can have such a huge impact, it’s important to know the consequences of your actions. An experienced professional can help determine a strategy that best protects your interests.

    Related Reading: How is A Business Divided During A Divorce? Can You Protect It?

  • Can You Get a Divorce If You Can’t Find Your Spouse?

    Key Takeaways:

    • Yes, you can get a divorce even if you can’t find your spouse, though there are additional steps and complications.
    • The process begins by filling out and filing the appropriate forms.
    • You must demonstrate to the court that you made a serious, good-faith effort to locate your spouse. They will need to see documentation proving you put in the legwork.
    • If you fail to track down your spouse, the court allows service by alternate means, including service by publication, service by posting, or service by mail.
    • Once you exhaust all avenues, you can apply for a default judgment that will finalize your divorce.

    Oregon, like most states in the union, practices no-fault divorce. These laws exist so no one is forced to remain married if they don’t want to. This includes cases where you can’t find your spouse. 

    This situation comes up more often than you may think. However, the good news is that you can still get a divorce even if your spouse has dropped off the face of the Earth.

    Not being able to locate your spouse does, understandably, present new obstacles, but there is a path to end your marriage.

    How Can You Divorce When You Can’t Find Your Spouse?

    All divorces are different. How it goes depends entirely on the specifics of your marriage and relationship.

    However, they all start in the same place. This is true whether you and your spouse still live together or they’ve completely vanished from your life. Down the road, the process may become more complicated, but it still begins with the most basic first step.

    Start The Divorce Process

    Like with any other divorce, you need to get the process started.

    First, obtain the appropriate forms, fill them out, and file them with the proper court. You also have a few fees to pay along the way.

    If you can’t find your spouse, the next step is where things get tricky. But for all intents and purposes, the initial move is the same. Get the ball rolling, and go forward from there.

    Attempt to Locate Your Spouse

    The next step to divorce is usually serving your soon-to-be-ex and declaring your intention to dissolve your marriage. Again, this gets tricky when they’re nowhere to be found.

    Before you can move on to the next stage, you have to do the legwork and put in a good-faith effort to locate them.

    The court requires proof of a “diligent search,” so make sure to document the work you put in every step of the way.

    Track who you call, where you search, and any other actions you take.

    The good news is, you have plenty of resources and search tools at your disposal in your quest to track down your spouse.

    • Check their last known address and the most recent employer. Even if they’re not there anymore, landlords or bosses may have an idea where they went.
    • If you still have contact information for family or friends, that’s another place to look.
    • Technology is a valuable ally. Online tools and resources often deliver results, and new ones emerge every day. In some instances, a cursory internet search may provide clues, places to check, or even the jackpot.
    • Dig into phone listings in the area where you know they lived.
    • Examine various databases, public court records, and even the Federal Bureau of Prisons.
    • Look at the DMV, military records, and the Social Security Death Index.
    • Hire a private investigator. What may take you some time may be routine for an experienced professional. They also often have access to databases and resources that the average person doesn’t.

    If you hired a lawyer to represent you, they should be able to help if you can’t find your spouse. If nothing else, they will have suggestions of where to start.

    Again, keep records of all your efforts. It’s important to show the court you did your best. Divorce laws demand you do the work.

    Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce: The DIY Method

    Service By Alternative Means

    If you find your spouse, great, proceed with your divorce as normal.

    But if they’re nowhere to be found, once you exhaust your options, no-fault divorce laws still allow you to move ahead.

    The next step is to serve your spouse by court-approved alternative means.

    It shows that you did the legwork and legitimately tried every possible option. The court must sign off on this measure, which is why it’s vital to document efforts to find your spouse, even if your search ultimately proves unsuccessful.

    There are a few different ways to serve your spouse in these cases:

    Service by Publication

    One of these alternatives is service by publication. More or less what it sounds like, service by publication means you release a public notice via an acceptable source. This most often takes the form of a news outlet, usually a local newspaper in the area where your spouse most likely lives. The summons usually must appear multiple times.

    Service by Posting

    Another common method is service by posting. In these cases, the court authorizes the display of the summons in a public area of the courthouse. Visible to as many people as possible, the goal is to make this document accessible to your spouse. This has an advantage over service by publication, as posting is usually free.

    Service by Mail

    In Oregon, the court may also require you to send a copy of the summons to your spouse’s last known address. If this information is seriously out of date, this may not be an option.

    Related Reading: How To File For Divorce In Oregon

    Motion For Default

    In most cases, alternative forms of service don’t yield significant results. But again, it shows you tried, and that’s the important part to the court. Once you do that, it’s finally time to move on.

    After 30 days, if you can’t find your spouse and they fail to respond to the published summons, you can apply for a Motion and Order Allowing Judgment by Default.

    This declares you did everything you could, but your spouse never materialized. By failing to respond, they are in default, and this document asks the court to grant a judgment in your favor.

    Now, even without your spouse’s direct involvement, the court is free to split any shared assets, rule on custody issues, and decide on any other matters.

    In most cases, if you’ve been apart for so long that you can’t find your spouse, there likely isn’t a ton to deal with. Still, it’s important to make everything official, especially if you’re looking to move on with your life.

    While not being able to find your spouse does complicate the divorce process, it is still possible to end your marriage and move forward.

    Related Reading: Jurisdiction And Divorce: Where You File Does Matter

  • How is Debt Divided In Divorce In Oregon?

    Key Takeaways:

    • Oregon uses the equitable distribution model to divide assets and debts in divorce.
    • Equitable distribution does not mean you divide everything equally.
    • Debt acquired during the marriage is viewed as the responsibility of both spouses and is subject to division. This includes credit card balances, mortgages, car loans, and more.
    • The timing of debt can dictate divisibility. 
    • Divorce does not automatically remove your name from any debt. If your name remains on an account, you remain liable for that amount.

    When it comes to divorce, one of the first things that comes to mind is a couple splitting up their shared assets. Something people often fail to consider about divorce, however, is that it also divides shared debt.

    In Oregon, when it comes to dividing debt in a divorce, the general idea is for both spouses to emerge on a relatively equal footing and be able to enjoy a standard of living similar to what they had during the marriage.

    That’s a relatively broad statement, so let’s look into how that manifests in reality.

    Dividing Debt in Divorce

    When dividing debt and assets, Oregon uses the equitable distribution model.

    Equitable distribution is: “A legal principle under which assets and earnings acquired during marriage are divided equitably (fairly) at divorce.”

    No matter the name on the title, credit card, mortgage, auto financing, or business loan, Oregon presumes both spouses contributed to the acquisition. It’s then subject to division in a fair and equitable fashion.

    If you accrue substantial financial liabilities during a marriage, the court also views them as shared marital obligations. Basically, the law views assets and debts as belonging to both spouses.

    Related Reading: How Do Major Purchases Affect Divorce Proceedings?

    Does Equitable Distribution Mean Debt is Split Equally?

    This question comes up often, and the answer is no.

    It’s important to note that equitable distribution does not mean you divide everything equally. Assets and debts may be divided disproportionately depending on the unique factors of your case.

    You may wind up with a 40/60 split, but it’s also possible the court will determine a 50/50 division is fair.

    Ultimately, the debt division decision takes into account need, earning potential, and other factors. Exceptions to this include things like gifts or inheritances.

    Related Reading: How Is Property Divided?

    Dividing Debt Acquired During Marriage

    Types of debt acquired during marriage include credit card balances, mortgages, auto loans, business loans, and similar obligations, which are then distributed between spouses.

    No matter the name on the contract, Oregon presumes both spouses played a part in building that balance. Dividing debt in divorce is then subject to equitable division.

    Pre-Marital Debt

    While you will likely be on the hook for the debt your ex built up during the marriage, there’s good news when it comes to the pre-existing variety. Timing, however, is the key in this situation.

    If your ex rang up thousands of dollars worth of student loans before you tied the knot, that’s not your problem. The same goes for those massive credit card bills that still pop up.

    Debt Accrued During A Legal Separation

    For debt following a separation, but before a divorce is finalized, the waters muddy a bit.

    If the court considers necessities like electric bills and utilities, they may split them.

    However, if your ex goes on a lavish ski vacation or buys an expensive new car, that’s a different story altogether.

    Unexpected Debt

    If you buy a house or condo, finance a boat, or secure a car loan, you expect to deal with these debts. But what about surprises? What if your spouse acquired debt without your knowledge? It happens all the time. How is that divided in a divorce?

    Again, from a legal point of view, the court doesn’t generally care whose name appears on the paperwork.

    If your ex obtains a credit card behind your back, runs up an astronomical bill, it will still likely be a joint obligation. Generally speaking, if it’s amassed during your marriage, you have to deal with it. At least in part.

    As with most areas of divorce, dealing with debt gets twisted in a hurry. In shorter marriages, things may be straightforward, but the longer a union lasts, the more intertwined lives become, and the more complex matters get.

    Financial Agreements and Loans

    Do creditors have to abide by the divorce decree? No. And this fact can have a serious impact.

    In short, divorce doesn’t automatically remove you from any loans, debts, or financial obligations.

    If your name remains on a home loan, credit card bill, car loan, or similar contracts, you remain liable for those debts. Even if the divorce agreement gives them to your ex.

    So, you go through the process and divide all of your shared debts. Say the court gives your ex the car you financed as a couple, along with the monthly payment. If your ex fails to make those payments, it may come back on you.

    Family courts have no jurisdiction to alter agreements with creditors; those stay in place. The divorce settlement can assign debt and require your ex to pay a balance. But that doesn’t take your name off the paperwork.

    Part of the divorce decree can include stipulations, such as that your ex must refinance a home loan within a certain period to remove your name. Still, that doesn’t always happen.

    It’s important to stay on top of things like that to make sure nothing comes back to bite you. This can impact your credit, among other things. If creditors come after you, you may wind up having to pay off the debt and then sue your ex for restitution.

    While people often think of dividing assets in a divorce, splitting up debt sneaks up on many people. It’s important to be aware that this is coming, what to expect, and how to deal with it.

    Related Reading: How is a Business Divided During A Divorce? Can You Protect It?

  • How Much Does A Divorce Cost In Oregon?

    Key Takeaways:

    • Divorce can be expensive, even in low-conflict cases where the spouses agree on most issues.
    • A contested divorce in Oregon typically costs between $7000 and $15,000.
    • An uncontested divorce can cost less than $3000.
    • The more complicated the case, the more a divorce costs.
    • Court costs, filing fees, and attorney charges add up quickly.
    • Divorce comes with many unexpected costs that people too often overlook.
    • There are steps you can take to minimize the cost of your divorce.

    This probably doesn’t come as a revelation, but divorce costs can add up quickly.

    There are charges and fees every step of the way. From filing the initial paperwork and hiring an attorney to relevant court costs. Then you have a variety of expenses that continue even after you complete the process.

    What Is The Average Cost of Divorce in Oregon?

    The short answer is that ending a marriage often costs quite a bit.

    According to some sources, a contested divorce costs $10,000 to $ 15,000. (We typically tell folks it runs between $7000 and $15,000.) An uncontested divorce, one with little conflict, typically runs between $1500 and $3000, sometimes even less.

    Numerous factors go into that number, and it may wind up drastically more or less depending on your specific situation.

    Many of the expenses of dissolving your marriage are readily apparent. For example, we mentioned hiring a lawyer. That incurs fees. The exact amount, however, depends on the nature of each distinct situation.

    A good rule of thumb is that the more you need to deal with, the more it will cost. This includes how you divide assets, if you pay spousal support, and more. Common elements that complicate matters include:

    • How contentious the split is.
    • The length of the marriage.
    • Future earning potential.
    • The amount of property and assets to divide.
    • Owning your own business.
    • Whether or not you have kids.
    • If you have substantial retirement accounts.

    These are just a few of many, many things that play a role.

    On the other side of that coin, there are also bound to be payments you don’t see coming. Like fees for responding to motions filed against you. Your tax status changes in the wake of divorce. Your credit score may even take a hit.

    Every case is different, but with that in mind, here are some of the costs associated, both obvious and otherwise, you may encounter when seeking a divorce in Oregon.

    Related Reading: Dividing a Business in Divorce

    Costs During The Divorce Process

    A common refrain is that there is no such thing as a free divorce. No matter how amicable, good-natured, or uncontested a split, there are at least a few fees likely to pop up.

    Even for the do-it-yourselfers out there going through an unchallenged split, you face fees. According to the Oregon State Bar Association, each party is currently subject to a filing fee of about $301 for a divorce or custody case.

    Moving forward, there’s the cost of serving your soon-to-be former spouse with divorce papers.

    You can hire an outside process server to accomplish this. Depending on what company you use and how difficult it is to find your ex, this may run upward of $50 or more.

    If you retain an attorney, they can handle the matter. For a fee. There’s a form you can have your spouse sign to indicate that the documents have been served. Otherwise, an outside party needs to handle this.

    You also face costs related to filing motions, responding to petitions, appearing in court, and more. Basically, every time you have to deal with new paperwork or show up in front of a judge, expect to fork over at least a few dollars.

    Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce: When is it the Best Choice?

    Attorney Fees

    Divorce is a complicated affair. In most cases, you’re best served by enlisting an experienced attorney. A professional who knows the ins and out and intricacies of the process will answer your questions and guide you toward an optimal outcome.

    That, of course, costs money. And again, how much depends on the case.

    There may be an initial consulting charge, likely a flat fee, followed by an hourly rate. Depending on how long and complicated your divorce is, the more issues you and your spouse disagree on, and the more contentious the proceedings, these fees stack up accordingly.

    Billing Practices

    Make sure, right out of the gate, you ask your lawyer to explain their billing practices. Find out what services you get for your money, how they break down the charges, and what you can expect to see on an invoice.

    It never hurts to get this sort of thing in writing at the beginning. Though the price may seem high, it will likely be worth the investment in the long run. It often saves people money.

    In simple cases, you may be able to hire someone to prepare your paperwork for a flat rate. Many services handle the filing and all the rest. Sometimes this is a lawyer, but it may also be a paralegal or other legal professional. It offers peace of mind that you haven’t made any grievous mistakes trying to do it all yourself. This, however, is only applicable to straightforward situations.

    Related Reading: How is Debt Divided in Oregon?

    Costs After The Divorce Process

    While legal and attorney’s fees are the most apparent costs of divorce, they have an end date. Once your split is final, they go away, or at least stop accumulating. There are, however, post-divorce financial obligations that, depending on the circumstances, continue long after the marriage is dissolved.

    Child Support

    If children figure into your divorce, child support will likely be one of the highest continuing costs you encounter. Oregon primarily awards child support in cases involving children under 18, though in some instances it may continue beyond age 18. These payments provide for the ongoing care and well-being of your kids.

    In general, the party with the most overnights with the child receives payments from the other. Still, child support is also often payable even in cases of 50/50 shared custody.

    The higher-income parent also usually covers a greater share of the financial burden for child care, medical bills, and education. The State of Oregon has an online calculator to estimate potential child support payments. While this isn’t a hard-and-fast or official amount, it provides a rough idea of what you may wind up paying.

    Related Reading: Calculate Your Own Support Responsibility 

    Spousal Support

    While spousal support is not awarded in every divorce, the court often orders it.

    These payments help your former partner meet financial needs following the dissolution of your marriage. Unlike child support, the amount is based on what is “just and equitable” in the given situation.

    Oregon has three kinds of spousal support: transitional, compensatory, and maintenance.

    Transitional Support

    Shorter in duration, transitional support is, as the name suggests, awarded to help one spouse make the transition back to single life. This often helps them obtain education or training to reenter the workforce or advance in the job market. This is most common in briefer marriages.

    Compensatory Support

    Less frequent, compensatory support comes into play when one party has contributed a significant amount to the career and earning capacity of the other. It also may occur in settlements where the court awarded one spouse substantially more property. Or, for example, if one spouse worked to support the other through college.

    Maintenance support

    Maintenance support is the most common in long-term unions where there’s a significant gap in earning potential between the two parties, one that may never realistically close. It tends to persist for extended periods, often indefinitely.

    Related Reading: Types Of Spousal Support In Oregon

    Forgotten Costs Of Divorce

    To this point, most of the costs discussed are clear. Court fees, attorney’s costs, and child and spousal support. People commonly associate all of these with the end of a marriage.

    As you move into the next phase of your life, you may look to lay down fresh, permanent roots. Relocation and setting up a new household, especially if there are children, costs money.

    If you and your spouse owned a home or property together, it may need to be sold unless you reach an agreement. Often, this happens quickly and for convenience rather than optimal value.

    Losing medical insurance. If your spouse’s health coverage no longer covers you, that’s another situation to deal with. The same goes for changing wills, altering life insurance policies, or any other shared articles and benefits acquired during the marriage.

    One unexpected change that catches people off guard is their taxes.

    Once you settle the divorce, your filing status looks very different than before. If you have children, your custodial status also impact deductions, payments, incentives, and more.

    It’s also possible for your credit score to take a hit. After your divorce, your former spouse’s future credit shouldn’t impact your own. Moving forward, you will apply for credit cards, loans, and other products individually. However, if you still have shared debts, they can affect your credit.

    Related Reading: Oregon: Community Property or Equitable Distribution?

    For example, divorce doesn’t alter pre-existing contracts and agreements with a third party that you and your spouse entered into while married, like a mortgage.

    In a perfect world, if the court assigns your former spouse to pay a joint debt, that’s precisely what happens. We don’t always live in an ideal world, however.

    If your ex neglects to make these payments, or simply isn’t able to, it negatively reflects on you. When it gets bad enough, creditors may come after you. You may even face legal action.

    Hopefully, there’s a strategy in place for handling joint debts and property division. Still, it never hurts to keep a close eye on your credit score and stay abreast of the situation.

    Related Reading: Common Financial Mistakes in Divorce

    What Else Affects The Cost of Divorce?

    As we’ve shown, many factors affect the total financial cost of divorce. As with most aspects of ending a marriage, the process varies from case to case. No two marriages are the same. Consequently, neither are any two divorces. Unique elements will always impact some and not others.

    Conflict Between Spouses

    The first factor that often inflates divorce costs is conflict. The way conflict impacts cost is straightforward: the more conflict, the longer it takes, and the more expensive your divorce becomes. If you and your soon-to-be ex fight over every issue, resolution takes time. And that takes money.

    Refusing to Compromise

    Whether you want to hear it or not, divorce takes compromise. Refuse to compromise, and the cost of divorce tends to skyrocket.

    The only type of divorce that doesn’t require at least some compromise is a default judgment. That’s when your ex fails to take action and essentially forfeits the case.

    It’s vital to enter the divorce process with a clear idea of where you’re willing to compromise and where you aren’t. Knowing what is and isn’t open for negotiation helps create a strategy.

    We’ve watched people rack up massive fees fighting over the most mundane, unimportant items. It’s important to protect what matters most to you, but also to know what’s not worth the effort.

    If you can’t compromise on anything, you’re most likely headed to trial. (Contrary to popular belief, most divorces don’t actually go to trial.) Not only is that a costly process, but it also takes the outcome out of your hands and places it at a judge’s discretion.

    Using a strategy such as mediation or arbitration gives you greater control over the outcome but still requires additional time and money.

    Not Hiring Counsel

    Divorce doesn’t require you to hire a lawyer. That said, unless it’s a simple, straightforward case with little conflict, it’s usually in your best interest to have representation.

    The problem with hiring a divorce attorney is obviously that it costs money.

    This may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes not hiring a divorce lawyer costs you more.

    Many people represent themselves in divorce only to end up at a disadvantage. It’s all too common for people to agree to unfavorable terms, a less-than-optimal custody schedule, or leave potential assets on the table.

    Hiring an attorney also ensures that support payments are accurately calculated, the division of assets and debts is fair, and you protect what’s most important.

    While the cost may seem like a lot now, you may save thousands of dollars over the course of your life.

    In short, divorce is not cheap, even in the most straightforward cases. Dissolution agreements can be highly complex, involve a wide range of factors, and feature many moving parts.

    Fortunately, there are ways to reduce some of these costs and limit the amount you ultimately spend. This is especially true in uncontested divorces or when there is little shared property and no children involved.

    Related Reading: What To Know About Divorce Forms & Filing

  • Does Oregon Practice Common-Law Marriage?

    Key Takeaways:

    • Common-law marriage means that after living together for many years, the law automatically recognizes the partners as married. 
    • You can’t create a common-law marriage in Oregon, but it does recognize common-law marriages from other states if the couple meets that state’s requirements.
    • Oregon does have Registered Domestic Partnerships, per the Oregon Family Fairness Act.
    • You must file a Declaration of Oregon Registered Domestic Partnership form; the union does not happen automatically.
    • Since the OFFA is specific to couples in Oregon, it does not recognize domestic partnerships or civil unions from other states.
    • If you have kids, the court considers child custody, child support, visitation, and other concerns the same way, whether you are married or not.
    • Unmarried fathers have the same rights as long as paternity has been established.

    A lot goes into a relationship between two people. Navigating interpersonal affairs often resembles a high-wire act. At a basic level, however, marriage is relatively simple. You either are, or you aren’t, right?

    People toss the term common-law marriage around quite a bit, so it begs the question: Does Oregon have common-law marriage?

    What Is Common-Law Marriage?

    In a broad sense, the term common-law marriage means that after living together for many years without officially marrying, the law recognizes the partners as married. Practically, how it works is usually more complicated than that, but those are the basics.

    It’s a kind of de facto marriage or marriage by default. A couple shares bank accounts, often has kids, and generally view each other as spouses.

    How common-law marriage works also varies from place to place. In reality, it’s only a factor in a limited number of locations and a handful of states.

    Does Oregon Have Common-Law Marriage?

    The short answer is no, Oregon doesn’t have common-law marriage. With so many misconceptions about the concept, Oregon keeps it simple. You can’t create a common-law marriage here.

    However, the state does acknowledge those from other places. According to the Oregon State Bar:

    “[I]f a couple is from a state that acknowledges common-law marriages, and the couple meets the requirements of common-law marriage of that state, then the state of Oregon will recognize the marriage of that state as valid in Oregon.”

    Registered Domestic Partnerships

    While Oregon doesn’t recognize common-law marriage, it does have Registered Domestic Partnerships under the Oregon Family Fairness Act.

    A registered domestic partnership is: “a civil contract entered into between two individuals who are at least 18 years of age, who are otherwise capable and at least one of whom is a resident of Oregon.” (Oregon Revised Statute 106.310).

    You must complete a Declaration of Oregon Registered Domestic Partnership form. These forms can be filed at any county clerk’s office in Oregon. They must be signed in front of a notary. The filing fee is $60, but some counties charge notary fees.

    Since the Oregon Family Fairness Act applies specifically to domestic partnerships registered in Oregon, it does not recognize them from other states, unlike common-law marriages. Oregon does not acknowledge civil unions from other states either.

    Form Instructions: Completing the Domestic Partnership Form
    Form: Oregon Registered Domestic Partnership Form

    Rights of Unmarried and Unregistered Partners

    Cohabitation without filing paperwork with the government happens more frequently now than ever. Couples live together, mix finances, buy homes, have children, and for all intents and purposes, act as if they were married.

    But unless you have a common-law marriage from another state, unregistered partnerships in Oregon aren’t protected by the same laws when it comes to dividing property.

    In general, each partner generally retains their own property. Except in cases where you intentionally commingle assets. The law views jointly owned property as belonging equally to both parties.

    You do have the option to ask the court to divide assets, though it’s a complicated, roundabout legal process.

    In most cases, you should reserve this for major purchases, such as houses or cars. It’s probably well worth it just to buy new furniture.

    However, if your name isn’t on something, things become tricky. When your name doesn’t appear on, say, the title of a car, you need to show that the intent was to share.

    Spousal support is one element that doesn’t factor into long-term relationships. Again, unless there’s a pre-existing common-law marriage, this isn’t an option. You neither pay nor receive alimony in the case of a break-up.

    This is also an evolving field, and Oregon has an ever-growing body of domestic partnership law. A common interpretation of this concept holds that all property is in play when determining an equitable split. While they can’t divide retirement plans, some judges compensate in other ways. We’re seeing more cases like this regularly, and it’s becoming more like divorce than ever.

    Do You Have Custody Rights if You Were Never Officially Married?

    The rights and obligations of parents don’t change due to marital status. Wed or not, that doesn’t impact the matter.

    If you have kids, the court considers child custody, child support, visitation, and other concerns the same way, regardless of whether the parents are married.

    Biological and adoptive parents retain the same parental rights whether there’s a ring on that finger, a common-law marriage, a domestic partnership, or no relationship at all.

    You pursue custody and visitation through identical legal channels. Depending on the situation, you may either pay or receive child support. All of the usual things that play a role in divorce and custody battles also apply to unmarried parents.

    Related Reading: What Are A Father’s Rights? (Whether Married or Unmarried)

  • 10 Truly Scary Divorce Facts

    Divorce is usually a time of great upheaval. It may absolutely be the right decision, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. In a relatively short span, your entire life changes, and it can be a frightening, uncertain experience. And not to add fuel to the fire, but here are some scary divorce facts to be aware of.

    10 Scary Divorce Facts

    Some of these are interesting, others may be useful to avoid. Hopefully, knowing ahead of time will allow you to dodge common potential hazards.

    1) Cohabitation Before Marriage Increases the Chance of Divorce

    As people delay the age at which they marry, instances of couples cohabiting have risen steadily over the years. Many view this as a kind of marital practice run, a test to ensure two people are truly compatible.

    While that sounds great on paper, in reality, couples who live together before tying the knot are, in fact, more susceptible to divorce in the long run.

    Related Reading: Divorce Statistics: From the Interesting to the Surprising

    2) The Average Marriage Is Shorter Than You Think

    “’Til death do us part” is a common component of traditional wedding vows. In reality, however, that’s a bit of a lofty goal. When it comes to marriages that end in divorce, the average length hovers around the eight-year mark.

    It makes some amount of sense. This is long enough to do things like have kids, buy a house, and for the initial honeymoon phase to come and go. It’s also enough time to try to make things work and realize you can’t fix some problems.

    3) First Divorces Happen Young

    As people live longer, healthier lives, the number of people who marry multiple times has also increased. Though some people put off getting married until later, the average age of a first divorce is still only 30 years old.

    People grow and change a great deal in their 20s. By the look of things, once they reach 30, couples often realize they each want very different things, and it’s time to go their separate ways. Or they’ve simply evolved in different directions.

    Related Reading: What are Grounds for Divorce in Oregon

    4) Happily Married Parents = Happy Marriages

    This one is, admittedly, not a particularly scary divorce fact. If your parents were happily married, statistically speaking, your likelihood of divorce drops. Watching a successful marriage not only shows you firsthand that it’s possible but also provides a roadmap to making things work.

    No one ever said being married would be easy, but it’s nice to have examples of how to move forward and deal with conflict in constructive ways. Think of your childhood as an education on how to be in a marriage.

    5) Health Risks After Divorce

    A bad marriage is detrimental to mental health, but divorce also comes with an array of physical health concerns. After divorce, men have an elevated risk of hypertension, heart disease, and even cancer, among other issues.

    Depression, substance abuse, and obesity often spike after a marriage ends.

    And here’s a terrifying divorce fact: according to some studies, men are much more likely to commit suicide following a divorce. It’s a tough time, but it’s essential to take care of yourself and get help when you need it.

    6) Parents Aren’t The Only Ones At Risk

    Parents aren’t the only ones at risk for health issues when it comes to divorce. Children are susceptible to depression and other mental health issues, which often manifest physically.

    One recent study found that children living with both of their biological parents tend to be much healthier, physically, than those hailing from broken homes.

    That is a scary divorce fact, as well as a reminder that children are often the most vulnerable parties in a divorce. As chaotic as it can be for adults, it’s vital to take the time to look after the kids.

    Related Reading: Custody and the Best Interests of the Child

    7) Women File For Most Divorces

    Again, not a particularly scary divorce fact, but an interesting tidbit nonetheless, given our audience is primarily men. Women file for roughly two-thirds of all divorces in the United States. Although it has varied over the years, the number hovers around 70 percent.

    The reasons for this are hotly debated. Some argue it is for custody reasons, while others cite economic factors. Still, others say that it is for convenience’s sake or due to changing gender norms and social conventions.

    8) Unexpected Hazards Of Smoking

    By now, we all know about the health risks associated with cigarettes and smoking. However, you may not be aware that it can also be detrimental to your marriage and other relationships.

    According to one study, if one spouse smokes and the other doesn’t, the couple is ultimately 75 to 91 percent more likely to divorce. Consider quitting; it won’t only benefit your health, but it may save your marriage.

    9) Big Weddings = Big Divorce Rates

    Many people dream of their wedding day for years. After all, it’s a key milestone in many of our lives. But while you envision the big day, maybe dial back the size and scope some. Research shows that couples who have huge, elaborate weddings are at greater risk for divorce.

    Fairytale weddings don’t come cheap. After the honeymoon glow wears off, the reality of paying back massive sums of money often causes friction and strife in new unions.

    10) You May Want To Move Closer To Work

    There are no two ways about it, long commutes suck. No one likes sitting in traffic, waiting for their lane to move, trying to find a good song on the radio. As it turns out, it can also have a detrimental impact on your marriage.

    A recent Swedish study found that people with commutes longer than 45 minutes are at a much higher risk of divorce. A scary divorce fact is that it’s hard to work on your relationship, stuck in your car, on a bus, or on a subway for half of the day.

    Most of these alarming divorce statistics are merely statistical notations. Just because you fit into one category or another doesn’t automatically mean that’s how your situation will play out.

    For example, many couples with large weddings don’t divorce. And not everyone lets their health slide after ending a marriage.

    Still, these are realities in many cases. Being aware of potential problems ahead of time may help you know what to look for and what to avoid. Just because they’re scary divorce facts doesn’t mean they can’t provide useful information. If you know a pattern exists, it’s easier to avoid.

    Related Reading: Breaking Down Divorce Rates By Generation

  • How Do You Ask For A Divorce?

    Marriage isn’t always sunshine and puppy dogs. It takes a lot of work, time, effort, and struggle. And still, it doesn’t always work out. Try with all your might, sometimes you can’t make a marriage work. But when it’s time to pull the plug, you face one massive obstacle: how do you ask for a divorce?

    This is an uncomfortable conversation, but an important first step. In reality, asking for divorce represents a talk you simultaneously do and don’t want to have.

    You’re after the end result, which will, ideally, leave you in a better situation. But it’s still not a discussion most people look forward to.

    By the time you reach the point where you’re ready to ask for a divorce, it’s safe to say your marriage has serious problems. In many cases, your spouse likely noticed these as well. But that doesn’t mean this is an easy exchange.

    This post looks at common dos and don’ts of asking for a divorce with an emphasis on thoughtfulness, honesty, and preparation. Key points include choosing the right time and place for this talk, how to avoid distractions, and being calm but resolute in your approach.

    Taking the time to lay the groundwork makes things easier and sets the stage for a healthier future for everyone.

    Related Reading: How Long Does Divorce Take?

    The Do’s And Don’ts of Asking For A Divorce

    This is a sensitive, emotional topic, and not one to take lightly. Divorce permanently changes almost every aspect of your life in one dramatic shift. Your current and future financial picture, living situation, and how much time you spend with your kids. All of those and more take a hit.

    A single conversation often sets the tone for the process that follows. It’s vital to handle things the right way to ensure you emerge on sound footing.

    Your spouse may be on the same page. Then again, news that you want a divorce may come as a complete and utter shock. Whether things proceed amicably or devolve into a legal fistfight, it often starts here.

    With that in mind, here is a list of things to consider when you ask for a divorce.

    Related Reading: How Jurisdiction Affects Divorce

    Pick The Right Time and Place

    There may not be a “right” time to ask for a divorce. It’s never going to be easy or clean or fun. Still, it’s important to account for a number of things when deciding when and where to bring up the topic.

    • Do it in person. This isn’t something to do via text message or email. You have to do this face-to-face. No one said it will be easy, but you owe your spouse at least that much.
    • Make sure you have the time and space. Unless you have an incredibly unique situation, this isn’t likely a quick conversation. Choose a time when neither of you has someplace to be immediately afterward. Send the kids to a friend or relative’s house. Take care of potential interruptions ahead of time. It may take a while, and it may get emotional. No situation is ever ideal, but choose an opportune moment to have a real, in-depth conversation.

    Related Reading: What are the Grounds for Divorce in Oregon?

    Don’t Tell The World About Your Divorce First

    By the time you’re ready to ask for a divorce, you’ve probably bounced the idea off of close friends and family. That’s understandable. It’s important to talk through major decisions like this. But there’s a line.

    • Don’t broadcast your decision to the world before you talk to your spouse.
    • Don’t get tipsy at a party and tell everyone you’re filing for divorce.
    • And for the love of god, don’t drop hints about divorce on social media.

    You can let everyone know about it later, but it’s important to talk with your spouse first. Otherwise, it can lead to hurt feelings and bitterness that often manifest later in the process. It can also come back to damage your case in court.

    Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

    Be Calm But Direct With Your Spouse

    This represents an emotional moment for everyone involved. Few things rile people up like divorce. Your spouse may get angry or defensive, but keep an even keel and behave in a rational manner.

    Some experts suggest avoiding “I” statements, so it doesn’t feel like a personal attack or accusation. Instead, they recommend using “we” statements, like “we don’t communicate anymore” or “we don’t get along with each other.”

    While it’s vital to remain calm, it’s also key to be firm. In reality, you don’t actually ask for a divorce. What you’re doing is saying, “I want a divorce.”

    Oregon practices no-fault divorce, so neither party can prevent the other from ending a marriage. The courts will grant you your divorce regardless of whether your spouse agrees or not.

    Still, the process requires some degree of cooperation, or at least the ability to work together. Especially when you have kids or complicated estates to divide.

    Related Reading: Common Financial Mistakes in Divorce

    Consider Your Spouse’s Reaction

    You know your spouse, likely better than you know anyone else in the world. At this stage, you can probably anticipate the coming reaction. Will it be a shock or a shrug? Are you in for a screaming match or a calm, rational conversation?

    Whatever you anticipate, prepare for that. If all you do is fight lately, you may be in for a doozy. Then again, maybe you expect them to be on the same page.

    Even if you think you know what’s coming, prepare for other potential outcomes. Though it may not come as a shock, hearing the words often stirs up all kinds of emotions. People don’t always behave as expected, so also prepare for surprises. Once you’re ready for any reaction by your spouse, good or bad, then have the conversation.

    Related Reading: Breaking Down Divorce by Generation

    Plan for the Future

    In most cases, you don’t want to ask for a divorce and immediately start talking details. There are sure to be some situations like that, but for the most part, everyone probably needs time to decompress and cope. That said, you should at least give some thought to what comes next.

    • Take stock of your finances.
    • Know what you have in savings, where you owe money, and how your economic situation looks.
    • If you have children, consider what you want the parenting plan to look like. Do you want full custody, or is regular visitation more in line with your situation?
    • Think about what you want in the settlement, if you want to push for spousal support, and other issues.

    You don’t necessarily have to have a set-in-stone plan, but it’s good to at least give it some thought. This is also a perfect time to consider whether or not you need to hire a divorce lawyer. It’s also a great idea to get your finances in order.

    Related Reading: Is Oregon a Community Property State?

    Shut the Door

    If you’ve made up your mind, if you’re 100% certain that divorce is the right choice, shut the door. It’s one thing to bring up the topic of divorce, to put it out there as an option.

    But if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your marriage is over, be decisive. Be clear, be concise, and don’t leave lingering possibilities. If there’s no chance, make that clear.

    It’s not easy to ask for a divorce. Even though you believe it’s necessary, neither party will come out of this conversation feeling wonderful. You may feel relief, but you probably won’t want to celebrate.

    It’s important to prepare for all eventualities. Even if the writing’s on the wall, this move may come as a shock. Carefully consider what you say, when you say it, and how. This isn’t an easy decision, but if your marriage is truly beyond saving, it’s likely for the best for both of you.

    There’s much more to consider along the way, but hopefully, this gives you a starting point.

    Related Reading: How To Get Divorced In Oregon: Step By Step

  • Can Your Ex Stop Your Kids From Playing Sports?

    You probably noticed, but kids today are busier than ever before. Cluttered with extracurricular activities, social engagements, and more, it seems like they’re always running to what’s next.

    Sports often play a big part in this. They can be hugely beneficial: they’re a way to get exercise, make friends, learn teamwork, and develop other skills. In many situations, they’re so important that they factor into parenting plans after divorce.

    Can an ex prevent your kids from playing sports?

    In this discussion, we use sports as an example, but it can be any activity. Sports are common, but we could also be talking about martial arts, drama or musical performances, robotics club, or other endeavors.

    Youth sports come with their own baggage, like the ongoing discussion over potential injury, but similar regulations apply no matter the pastime.

    Objections to Playing Sports

    There are many legitimate reasons why parents may not want their kids to play sports. Maybe they believe it’s too dangerous or the possibility of injury is too high. This is a concern in all sports, but especially in high-contact games, like football.

    Perhaps one parent feels the kids are too young or that it will distract them from schoolwork.

    It may be as simple as one parent doesn’t want to schlep across town for practice multiple nights a week.

    Some reasons are compelling, while others aren’t as persuasive. But it varies from one situation to the next.

    Related Reading: Child Custody and the Best Interests of the Child

    high school baseball player

    Can Sports Be a Part of Parenting Plans?

    Ultimately, it’s up to the parents to decide whether or not to allow their children to play sports.

    Ideally, in making this decision, the parents truly consider the child’s best interests. You have to weigh factors like safety, whether they’re passionate about it, and so much more.

    In a perfect situation, both parents discuss the matter and come to an agreement that works for everyone. But that doesn’t always happen.

    For example, if your daughter plays soccer but your ex prevents her from going to games during visitation weekends, what can you do?

    In some cases, a parenting plan comes into play. This official court order establishes the custody arrangement after a divorce or break-up. These documents contain many things and often include a child’s activities.

    If an activity is important to your child, you can actually write it into the parenting plan.

    Sports often fall into this category. In this instance, if your ex attempts to stop your child from playing sports, you have legal recourse.

    Once you establish a valid parenting plan, both you and your ex must legally abide by the terms. Neither parent can decide one day to stop following the plan without repercussions. If the violation continues, you may even have a contempt case. That’s the extreme end of the spectrum, but it’s possible.

    There are caveats to this, of course. To write a specific sport into a parenting plan, you have to know your child has an interest. It’s one thing if your high school-aged son plays high-level AAU basketball or is an Olympic-hopeful figure skater. That you know to plan for, it’s another if your elementary school child maybe wants to play tee-ball down the road.

    Related Reading: Enforcing a Parenting Plan

    Contempt

    As we said, if your ex refuses to play ball, so to speak, and abide by the parenting plan, you may have a case for contempt. There are legal outlets to enforce the stipulations of your parenting plan.

    Different counties in Oregon have different regulations and procedures for enforcement proceedings, so it’s important to know the specific laws where you live.

    This type of legal action is serious, so it shouldn’t be undertaken lightly. It’s not for use if your ex makes your son miss a baseball game once. This is more of a last resort when you run out of other options.

    Sometimes, even the threat of legal action can be enough to convince the other parent to adhere to the rules going forward.

    Related Reading: What Happens After the Court Appoints a Guardian Ad Litem?

    Can You Change the Parenting Plan?

    If it becomes clear that one or both parents can no longer stick to the terms, it is possible to modify a parenting plan.

    Be warned, like most court orders, once in place, these are difficult to change. It’s often a long, expensive process. The best way is to make sure the original document is something everyone can live with for the long haul.

    In Oregon, you must file a Motion Requesting Modification. There’s more to it, but at a basic level, you’ll have to show a significant change in circumstances.

    Beyond that, you need to demonstrate that this move represents the child’s best interests. Even then, the court still may not grant the modification.

    When deciding whether or not to modify a parenting plan, the courts account for many variables:

    • If both parents agree to the alterations.
    • When there’s been a substantial change in circumstances from the original plan.
    • If the child is in harm’s way.
    • If the other parent refuses to follow the agreement or has been found in contempt.

    A judge may consider these and other factors.

    Ideally, if your ex tries to stop your child from participating in sports or any court-approved activity, it won’t require legal action. The best way to decide the fate of your child playing sports is for both parents to have a rational, adult conversation. In cases of divorce and custody, however, that’s often easier said than done.

    Related Reading: 5 Important Things Your Kids Can Learn From Playing Fantasy Sports

  • How Can You Save Money on Your Divorce?

    Divorce is expensive. That probably doesn’t shock anyone. Fortunately, there are strategies to cut down on expenses and save money during a divorce.

    The exact cost of ending a marriage depends on many factors. And like most things in divorce, it varies from one case to the next.

    In simple cases, usually shorter marriages with few shared assets and no children, divorce may cost little more than filing fees.

    That said, the more you have to deal with, the more complicated things get, and the more it usually costs.

    Ways to Save Money on Your Divorce

    Children and tons of property complicate the process. The more conflict there is, the longer things usually take. If you need to hire a divorce lawyer, that adds a big expense to the mix.

    Considering all of this, what can you do? How can you save money during a divorce?

    Here are a few tips to help you pare down some expenses related to lawyers. They’re not the only ones, but there are ways to cut costs that have proven effective many times over.

    Related Reading: Does it Matter if You File for Divorce First?

    Familiarize Yourself With The Process

    Knowing your rights and what to expect often helps save money during a divorce. The more you know, the easier it is to work with an attorney or mediator to reach an agreement.

    Understanding the process also allows you to do some of the legwork yourself instead of paying someone else.

    Taking a hands-on approach, one coordinated with your representation, makes sure you do everything possible to help your case. Educating yourself also enables you to understand what your lawyer does and why.

    It’s important to work with your attorney to complete the crucial steps at the right time. Otherwise, you run the risk of undermining the work they’ve done and potentially creating more work to bill you for. And they will, that’s the deal when you hire a divorce lawyer.

    Related Reading: 9 Common Mediation Questions Answered

    Be Organized

    Get organized. Having all your paperwork and documents together and ready to go is essential to streamlining the process. It saves both time and money.

    Having your attorney organize everything on your behalf becomes an expensive proposition. Again, this strategy cuts down on billable hours and saves you money on divorce.

    Don’t spend money to have your attorney do work you can do for yourself.

    Arrange information, documents, and files in a way that helps them understand your case and your situation. If you already have access to your ex’s financial records, your attorney doesn’t have to track them down.

    Even if you don’t want to organize it all yourself, you can hire a temporary personal assistant to do the work. That costs, but it’s still less than you’d pay most divorce lawyers to do the same work.

    Related Reading: Common Mediation Questions Answered

    Be Honest

    Your lawyer is on your side. That said, they can’t help you if they don’t know the whole truth.

    Clients who withhold information often undermine their own cases. Failing to share important details hinders your attorney’s ability to protect your rights.

    Giving your attorney all the information upfront provides them a full, accurate picture of your situation. That way they can chart the best course of action.

    If you do something like try to hide assets, and that gets found out, it creates potential speed bumps. It takes time to navigate those speed bumps and repair any damage. And guess what? An attorney will charge for that.

    Related Reading: What are the Grounds for Divorce in Oregon?

    Picking Your Battles Helps Save Money

    As we said earlier, the more there is to deal with, the longer the process takes. If you want to save money on your divorce, you must simplify things.

    Too many couples fight about every last thing. That takes up time, which—say it out loud—your attorney will bill you for.

    Know what’s most important. Be realistic about where you’re willing to compromise and where you aren’t.

    Don’t argue about who gets that box of tangled old Christmas lights—it happens more than you think—just to stick it to your ex. There’s no point paying $500 in fees for something with no sentimental value that you can replace for $100.

    If you have a clear, honest idea of what you’re willing to fight for, you’ll usually fare much better.

    Part of picking your battles is about knowing when not to fight. But it’s also about knowing the right time to fight. Don’t be a pushover just to save a few dollars.

    The decisions made now impact your life for years. It’s okay to spend money, but make sure you spend it efficiently and on the things that actually matter.

    Related Reading: 10 Steps to Create a Divorce Strategy

    Your Lawyer is Not Your Therapist

    Your divorce lawyer is not your therapist. Understanding that simple fact saves you money during a divorce.

    Divorce lawyers are privy to intimate details about your life and things no one else knows, even your close friends. Too often this leads people to unburden themselves.

    Make no mistake, your attorney is on your side, wants the best outcome for you, and should empathize with your situation. But their job is not to offer emotional support and help you deal with personal problems.

    Nor is this in your best interest. Idle chatting with an attorney about your dating life is not only time you get charged for, but also time they’re not working on your case.

    Talking to a therapist, counselor, or support group is fantastic and healthy, and more people should do this. It’s often a key part of dealing with the complex emotions of divorce, recovering, and moving on.

    Also, a mental health professional has more tools and resources to help you through an emotional, turbulent time than your lawyer. If you avoid using your attorney like a shrink, you can save money during a divorce. You hire a divorce specialist to help with your divorce, so hire a mental health specialist to help with your mental health.

    Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Oregon