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Category: Child Custody

  • Child Custody: Fathers’ Rights Oregon [With Infographic]

    The common perception, whether it’s right or wrong, is that wives, mothers, and women have the upper hand when it comes to divorce and child custody.

    It’s possible to throw around all manner of statistics and cite various expert opinions on the subject. The fact of the matter, however, is that, when it comes to the dissolution of marriage and guardianship, many men feel like they get the short end of the metaphorical stick, and that fathers’ rights get trampled in the process.

    From a legal standpoint, mothers and fathers have the exact same claims. This should, in theory, give them an equal chance of being awarded primary custody.

    That’s on paper. In reality, we’re all well aware that humans, which includes judges, often make emotional decisions and are biased in one way or another.

    If you’re a father going through a divorce or custody battle, it’s important to know your rights and how to safeguard your interests and those of your children.

    What Are A Father’s Rights In Oregon?

    As we said, legally speaking, fathers have the exact same claims as mothers when it comes to child custody.

    • Barring extreme circumstances, you have the right and responsibility to be a part of your child’s life on a regular basis and in a meaningful way. Basically, should you and your spouse divorce, if it involves children, both parties have equal opportunity to remain fixtures in their lives.
    • Just like a mother, a father has the right to request primary guardianship.
    • If he does receive custody, he also has the right to petition the court for appropriate child support from his former spouse. This may be used to help provide for expenses like food, clothing, shelter, and other necessities.
    • If the courts don’t grant the father custody, he still has the right to see his children. This visitation will be reasonable and regular. In this scenario, you are also entitled to spend time with your kids free from interference by the custodial parent.

    Related Reading: Best Interest Of The Child

    How To Ensure Your Rights As A Father

    fathers' rights infographic
    (Opens in New Window)

    In recent years, there has been an increased emphasis, publicly and in the courts, on making sure that both parents play an integral part in a child’s life after divorce or separation. It’s important that you remain involved in the upbringing of your kids. However, you may have to take steps to ensure this happens.

    As already stated, you are equally entitled to custody during the divorce process. If you actively want primary custody, you have every right to pursue this goal.

    You may need to prepare and file a petition for custody, provide information about the parents and child, and ultimately wait for the court to decide on your request. Oregon law also requires that all such petitions include a parenting plan.

    When awarding custody, the court aims to serve the best interests of the child. To establish this, the judge examines a number of factors. This may include:

    • Your abilities as a parent.
    • Pre-existing relationships with your kids.
    • Stability.
    • Physical and emotional health.
    • Safety.

    If kids are old enough to have a preference, the court may take their testimony into account. However, if their wishes oppose their best interests, the court can ignore them.

    In short, don’t be passive. If you want custody of your children or significant visitation rights, take an active approach.

    It’s likely in your best interest to hire an attorney with experience working child custody cases. A lawyer will have insight into the process, as well as advice, both legal and practical, to lead to an optimal outcome for your case.

    Related Reading: Enforcement Proceedings: How to Protect Custody Rights

    The Rights Of Unmarried Fathers

    In some cases, it may be trickier to assert your rights as a father. For instance, if you and your child’s mother never married. In Oregon, however, unmarried parents have the same rights as their legally bound counterparts.

    If your paternity is established, and your name appears on the child’s birth certificate, you will be recognized as the legal father.

    As such, just like if you were married, you and the mother have equal legal standing in the eyes of the law. You have just as much right to pursue primary child custody as your ex, regardless of marital status. Should you be awarded guardianship of your kids, you also have the right to petition for child support.

    Similar to divorced or divorcing couples, the court considers factors like:

    • Income.
    • Ability to pay.
    • Custody schedule.
    • Need.

    These all figure into the amount. Even if you do not win custody, you will most likely still be entitled to regular visitation. The court will also likely order you to provide child support.

    Related Reading: Establishing Paternity In Oregon

    Ways To Help Your Custody Case

    You need to convince the court you’re best suited to be the primary custodian. It’s important to demonstrate your parenting ability and showcase what you bring to the table. With that in mind, here are some ways you can help your own child custody case.

    Work With Your Ex

    Like it or not, when you have kids, you’re going to have some contact with your ex.

    Unless the health or well-being of your children is in danger, you’ll have to work together as co-parents on some level. You may not like it, but bite the bullet and collaborate with your ex.

    Not only is it beneficial to the kids to have both parents involved in their lives, but this willingness to cooperate also helps your child custody case.

    Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

    Stay Part of Your Child’s Life

    It’s also vital to remain a part of your child’s daily life for a number of reasons. This strengthens the parent/child bond, it’s good for both of you, and it can help your case.

    Spending time with your children on a regular basis shows you are and want to stay an involved parent.

    Courts also try to avoid drastically shaking up a child’s routine when ruling on custody. When you’re already a big part of their life, it’s more likely to stay that way.

    Related Reading: Unmarried Parents’ Custody Rights

    Make Use Of Your Parental Rights

    We see it all the time. People claim to want custody but don’t take advantage of it when they have the chance. While a case is in progress, the court often issues temporary custody orders. These grant regular visitation and the like.

    Take advantage of time and opportunities the court gives you.

    This includes big, fun special events, but also regular things, like helping with homework and going to doctor’s appointments.

    It’s important for the kids that you’re present, but it also demonstrates you’re an involved parent who wants to be there for your children.

    Document Everything

    Two words can come in very handy in these situations: document everything.

    If your ex sends you an email denying you a scheduled visit for flimsy reasons, save it. The same goes for voicemails, instant messages, texts, social media posts, and any other form of communication.

    If you have concerns about your child’s safety in your ex’s care, document your reasons.

    Keep a record of the time you spend with your kids. That way, if your ex claims you’re not an involved parent, you can prove otherwise.

    Basically, whatever statements you make to the court about your ability as a parent, or your ex’s, collect as much solid evidence as you can to support your claims.

    Related Reading: Common Child Support Questions

    Don’t Interfere With Visitation

    By this point, there’s likely ill will between you and your ex. Divorce tends to leave scars. But it’s important not to use custody situations for revenge.

    If your ex has visitation scheduled, don’t interfere with it or stop it from happening.

    First off, recognize that it benefits your kids to have both parents in their lives. Meddling makes you look petty, but it also has a wider impact.

    If you complain about your ex hampering your own visitation, you can bet a judge will remember this you interfering with theirs. Acting like a rational adult only helps your custody case.

    Don’t Trash Talk Your Ex

    Again, you probably aren’t too fond of your ex right now. No one expects you to be best friends, but keep those feelings to yourself, especially around your children.

    Be there for your kids and serve their best interests. Don’t use them as pawns in your custody dispute or try to turn them against your ex. Not only it is unhealthy for them, but if you try to manipulate them, it can damage your cause.

    Focus on making yourself look good instead of making your ex look bad, you’ll get far more mileage out of that approach.

    Related Reading: Do Criminal Charges Impact Child Custody Cases?

    Hire A Child Custody Lawyer

    Child custody disputes often become heated. Tempers flare and people react emotionally instead of thinking things through. There are also tons of details and complicated laws that play into custody decisions.

    Because of all of this, it’s usually in your best interest to hire a child custody attorney, especially if your ex hired one. A knowledgeable professional helps keep things calm and guides you through the process.

    Related Reading: Enforcement Proceedings If Your Ex Won’t Follow The Parenting Plan

  • Status Quo Orders In Divorce and Child Custody

    During divorce and breakups, child custody battles often become heated and contentious affairs. In some situations in Oregon, the court issues temporary orders lasting the duration of a case. This may include temporary custody arrangements or even implement temporary child support.

    Some divorces and separations start with one parent taking the kids from the other, pulling them out of school, hiding them, and the like. If you’re trying to keep a child’s living situation and routine in place, a status quo order may be in order.

    A status quo order can serve almost as an effective, inexpensive, “light duty” custody order.

    What Is A Status Quo Order?

    A Latin term, status quo, means “the existing state of affairs, the way things are.”

    In a legal setting, judges use a status quo order—also called a temporary protective order of custody and restraint—to maintain a situation. This prevents parties involved from affecting change until the matter at hand is resolved.

    When it comes to family law cases, like divorce and child custody matters, these manifest in a number of ways. Once in place, until further judgment arrives, they preserve the living arrangement, parenting time, and maintenance support.

    These orders are designed to protect minor children during the legal process. In custody situations, the child’s health, safety, and well-being take precedence over other concerns.

    A status quo order may prevent one parent from taking the child from a home or area without the other’s consent.

    Once issued, this decree stays in place until the parents agree on a parenting plan or the court issues custody orders.

    Related Reading: Writ of Assistance, Custody, and Divorce

    How This Applies to Family Law

    Oregon courts have the power to issue a status quo order at the outset of the legal process.

    In a practical sense, they prevent each parent from doing six specific things:

    • Changing the child’s usual place of residence;
    • Interfering with the child’s present placement and daily schedule;
    • Hiding or secreting the child from the other party;
    • Interfering with the other party’s usual contact and parenting time with the child;
    • Leaving the state with the child without the written permission of the other party or the court;
    • Or in any manner disturbing the child’s current schedule and daily routine until custody or parenting time has been determined.

             Related Reading: Child Custody in Oregon

    Objecting To A Status Quo Order

    A status quo order takes into account parenting time, custody, and school location for the three months prior to the request. But what if you object to the status quo as laid out in the status quo order?

    For example, your ex serves you with a status quo order saying she doesn’t want to upset your daughter’s routine and that she has custody five days a week, but that’s never been the case.

    Fortunately, you can raise objections to how the status quo is portrayed.

    As with most legal matters, you must prove your claims. You need to provide your own version to help solidify your assertion in this area. Document as much evidence as you can and have reliable witnesses you can call to back up your side of the story.

    Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

    Immediacy Of the Order

    One of the big benefits of a status quo order is the immediacy.

    You or any party served with a status quo order has the right to request a hearing. In Oregon, the courts must make a reasonable effort to schedule the hearing within 14 days. At the outside, a hearing must take place no later than 21 days after the court receives the request.

    While this doesn’t award custody, it does cut the legs out of a bad actor. You go to court almost immediately. Without a status quo order, you often have to wait 30 to 60 days, or longer depending on the county, for a temporary order hearing.

    Like temporary protection measures, the intent of a status quo order is to further a child’s best interests. This can be to protect them from potential harm, as in situations of abuse or neglect, or to ensure stability during a tumultuous time.

    As with most legal matters, there are many boxes to check off and things can get complicated in a hurry. Whichever side you fall on, you must substantiate your position and provide proof of your claims.

    Improper use of such orders can have an impact down the road. It may influence the final decision from the court, impact the ultimate parenting plan, or you may even have to pay your ex’s attorney fees.

    Related Reading: Child Custody Enforcement Proceedings

  • Fighting Parental Alienation

    In the wake of a divorce, it’s not uncommon for parent-child relationships to take a hit. You may not see your child as often and you may not be a part of their day-to-day lives. This is tough, but it’s even worse in cases where parental alienation rears its ugly head.

    Parents who experience this face many challenges. It can be overwhelming and uncertain. This makes it difficult to maintain your relationship with your kids.

    But what is parental alienation and what can you do to cope?

    What is Parental Alienation?

    Parental alienation is:

    “[T]he process and the result of psychological manipulation of a child into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent, relative, or others”

    Basically, it’s when one parent wages an intentional campaign, turning a child against the other. There are many signs, and, as the definition states, it can also focus on other people.

    It can even reach extended family members, though parents are the most common targets.

    How To Fight Parental Alienation?

    Parental alienation can irreparably damage your relationship with your child. It can also harm them in many other ways. That’s why it’s important to know how to push against it and fight back.

    Have a Plan

    One of the best ways to protect yourself is to create a detailed parenting plan. This outlines your rights and obligations and provides the framework for enforcing those rights.

    It’s imperative that this document includes significant visitation. The more present you are in the child’s life, the more difficult it is to turn them against you.

    Vague parenting plans invite opportunities for manipulation. If it doesn’t include specifics and details, your ex may be able to undermine how much time you spend with your child and do long-term damage to your bond.

    Related Reading: Child Custody: The Best Interests of the Child

    Good Rules Mean Nothing if Not Enforced

    While it’s important to have a detailed parenting plan, it only protects your rights if you enforce them. This document only helps if you use it.

    Many parents let little things slide to be amicable and accommodating. But all too often, these small transgressions add up and become big problems.

    This isn’t to say you need to run to your divorce lawyer every time your ex drops your child off half an hour late. That also adds up in a different way. But be wary of developing patterns and nip them in the bud. Don’t let your ex deny your court-ordered visitation. It’s much easier to deal with issues when they’re minor. Don’t let them become major.

    That said, simply complaining about violations of the parenting plan isn’t enough. You have to pay attention and take active steps to secure your parental rights.

    Related Reading: Enforcing a Parenting Plan

    Contempt can Lead to Custody Changes

    Enforcing your parenting plan with the court has several significant effects.

    First, it establishes your commitment to remain a consistent, involved part of your child’s life.

    Second, it creates an official record of parenting plan violations.

    A parenting plan is a court order. It’s a legally binding document. Violations, especially continued ones, can be construed as contempt. Multiple infractions carry consequences, including the court demanding changes to the original schedule.

    Family Counseling May Be Needed

    Sometimes you can do everything right and parental alienation still strikes. It can get to the point where even modifying the parenting plan isn’t enough.

    If you’ve become estranged from your child, you may have to take more drastic steps to repair the damage. Family counseling is one tool to use to combat this phenomenon.

    Parental alienation can be devastating. It can also be difficult to prove. So it’s best not to let it get to that point if it can be avoided.

    Take steps to remain an active part of your child’s life, keep an eye out for potentially damaging patterns, and, if necessary, consult a mental health professional or your divorce attorney and ask for help.

    Related Reading: Custody in Oregon: Parenting Evaluations