Category: Child Custody

It’s often difficult to remain part of your child’s life after a divorce or breakup. One thing that helps ensure you’re able to do this is the parenting plan.

This document outlines all the specifics of custody, visitation, holidays, and all other schedule issues. But what if your ex won’t follow the rules? How can you enforce a parenting plan?

How Do You Enforce a Parenting Plan?

Parenting plans cover everything.

This includes where the child lives, which parent has decision-making power, how parents settle disputes, and more. They also address matters such as transportation and the exchange of the child.

Once in place, both parents are legally obligated to honor a parenting plan.

Problems arise when this cooperative arrangement falls apart. Circumstances change, details get missed in communication, and disagreements happen.

There are many ways parents often flaunt the established rules. This can be blatant, like your ex denying visitation, or it can be more subtle.

Perhaps it starts small, like your ex shows up late to drop off your kids or changes a vacation at the last minute. However it plays out, it’s often a slippery slope you should be aware of and watch.

Related Reading: What is a Parenting Evaluation?

Custody Agreement Violations

There are times when you must turn to legal means to get the other parent to adhere to the custody agreement.

Contempt of court as a concept is relatively simple: it’s the willful and intentional disobedience of a court order. When it comes to child custody agreement violations and family law issues, contempt manifests in a variety of ways:

• Denying your visitation as laid out in a parenting plan.
• Your ex won’t return your child at the end of a visit.
• Your ex doesn’t make reasonable attempts to require the child to make scheduled visits.
• Failure to make court-ordered support payments.

Related Reading: Criminal Charges and Custody

Motion For Contempt And Enforcement Proceedings

A motion for contempt is essentially an official means of requesting the court to compel the violator to abide by the court order.

The goal of a motion for contempt is to get the other party to follow the schedule in the future. In a custody agreement violation, enforcing a parenting plan most commonly takes the form of suing to enforce visitation, child support payments, and other specific terms.

What to do if a parent violates the parenting plan

The first step in enforcing your parenting plan is to file a motion seeking enforcement with the court.

Once you file this motion, the court will conduct a hearing no more than 45 days after the filing. Unless both parties agree to other terms. The court then reviews the motion to determine if a violation has occurred.

To be clear, enforcement proceedings can be long, expensive, and time-consuming. They’re most often used in flagrant cases or cases where a person is habitually in contempt of the parenting plan or custody arrangement. Sometimes, however, the threat of legal action may be enough to get your ex to play ball.

Related Reading: What Is The UCCJA? A Look At How It Protects Children

Common Enforcement Proceeding Outcomes

There are three typical outcomes to this type of enforcement proceeding. They are:

• A judge finds there was no violation, and no further action is taken.
• The parenting plan was violated, but with good reason, and no remedy is required.
• The parenting plan was violated, and a remedy was ordered.

Consequences of violating a parenting plan vary depending on the severity of the infraction. In relatively minor cases, the court may do something like allot one parent additional visitation to make up for lost time with the child.

On the more severe side, the court may order a hearing to modify the entire custody arrangement.

A judge can also:

• Add new terms to the parenting plan.
• Order counseling or parenting classes.
• Suspend child support.
• Enforce civil penalties.
• Order the offending parent to pay the other’s court and attorney fees.
• Hand down jail time if the case warrants such an action.

Related Reading: Parenting Evaluations in Oregon

Benefits Of Enforcement Proceedings

A successful outcome of enforcement proceedings is readily apparent: moving forward, your custody situation should be more straightforward and follow the previously established path. But there’s more.

If your ex is found in contempt for violating the parenting plan—meaning that a judge formally reprimands them—you may wind up with benefits beyond simple assurances they’ll follow the plan.

You may get additional time with your children to make up for missed visitations, holidays, or vacations. In some cases, since you almost certainly had to hire an attorney to represent you in enforcement proceedings, your ex may have to cover all or part of your legal fees if the violations are deemed willful and intentional.

It may only take one sound legal thrashing to set your ex straight. In some cases, even the threat of legal action may get things back on track. While no one wants to resort to enforcement proceedings, they can be valuable tools in the right situations.

Related Reading: What is a Status Quo Order?

Key Takeaways:

• A parenting evaluation is a formal assessment of the parties’ parenting skills and the determination of which parent is best suited to be the child’s primary caregiver.
• An impartial third party examines the facts and advises the court.
• Although the court often places significant weight on parenting evaluations, the parties initiate them.
• Custody evaluations can be much more thorough and less costly than pure litigation.

Child custody cases often present challenges during and after a divorce, making it difficult for couples to reach an agreement. Ideally, parents would work together to create a parenting plan and residential schedule, but this doesn’t always happen.

For parents mired in contentious custody battles, going to court can be an unsettling proposition. The question of how courts decide custody arises frequently. At a basic level, the best interests of the child take precedence over other concerns. Above convenience, parental preference, and all the rest.

What Is A Parenting Evaluation?

A parenting evaluation is a formal assessment of the parties’ parenting skills and the determination of which parent is best suited to be the child’s primary caregiver.

Evaluations aren’t court cases, and so evaluators aren’t constrained by evidentiary rules. An impartial third party examines the facts and advises the court on what is in the children’s best interests.

• They review documents,
• interview witnesses,
• speak to the children,
• request assessments (drug, alcohol, psychiatric, etc.), and more.

Custody evaluations can be much more thorough and less costly than pure litigation. The courts view these appraisals and recommendations as objective reports. As a result, parenting evaluations often lead to settlements.

This often minimizes legal costs, attorney fees, and time associated with lengthy litigation.

Related Reading: Enforcement Proceedings: Protecting Your Custody Rights

Who Can Request a Custody Evaluation?

Although the court often places significant weight on these evaluations, the parties initiate them. Either or both parents may request this option.

In most cases, the attorneys agree on a private evaluator. But if they can’t, the courts have the discretion to appoint one.

Usually, the party who makes the request foots the bill and the court reserves the contribution to trial.

If you make the request, be prepared to pay the invoice when it is due. Parenting evaluations can be expensive, with costs ranging from thousands of dollars, depending on the circumstances.

They are, however, generally less expensive than a full trial.

Related Reading: How Legal Marijuana Impacts Child Custody

How Do Courts Determine Custody?

When determining child custody, courts consider several goals. Identified by the National Association of Social Workers, these are:

• Identify the developmental needs of the child(ren);
• Pinpoint the strengths, vulnerabilities, and needs of all other members of the family;
• Identify the positive and negative family interactions.
• Develop a plan for custody and access utilizing the strengths of each individual that will serve the best interests of the child(ren) and, within those parameters, the wishes and interests of the parents.

Related Reading: What Happens When the Court Appoints a Guardian Ad Litem

How is a Custody Evaluation Conducted in Oregon?

Interviews form a big part of the process. This includes speaking with both parents, the child, significant caregivers, and people who spend substantial time with the children. Anyone who knows the child well and can provide insight into the situation, such as teachers, daycare providers, and others.

Home visits to both parents’ residences also factor in, as do psychological assessments.

Records and documentation are also important. The more relevant documentation you can provide to support your case, the better off you will be.

It is important to note that relevance is paramount in documentation. Sheer volumes of irrelevant paperwork do nothing to further your case. In fact, it may cost you extra money in evaluation fees and damage your position.

Providing relevant and organized documentation shows you’re methodical and dedicated to providing credible information.

Educating yourself on your rights and your options as a parent is imperative. The outcome of your parenting evaluation may impact your relationship with your child for years to come.

Related Reading: What Is The UCCJA? A Look At How It Protects Children

At best, custody exchanges are likely to be awkward; at worst, we’re talking open warfare.

Unfortunately, however, if you have kids, these interactions are usually a post-divorce reality.

While it may not be ideal for you or your ex, there are ways to handle the tense, unfriendly moments when you’re face-to-face with a part of your past you’d rather not revisit.

How Can You Make Custody Exchanges Go Smoother?

No child wants to watch their parents fight. And as far as you’re concerned, arguing with your ex won’t accomplish anything but raising your blood pressure. Doing what you can to keep things calm is best for everyone.

With that in mind, here are a few tips and strategies to make custody exchanges go as smoothly as possible. Or at least as fast as humanly possible.

1)  Make Sure Everything Is Packed And Ready To Go

Before your ex arrives to pick up the kids for custody exchanges, make sure they have everything they need. Pack up everything for the night, weekend, or vacation, and prepare for departure.

• • Are they on regular meds?
  • Does one of the kids need an inhaler?
  • Can your child not sleep without a security blanket or favorite teddy bear?
  • Do they have their schoolwork, books, and study materials? (That report on the construction of the Hoover Dam won’t finish itself.)
  • Are their cleats ready to go for soccer practice tonight?

Whatever is important, both in a general sense and in a specific situation, pack it up. Double-check, maybe make one last perimeter sweep, and get it ready.

This minimizes the amount of contact you have with your ex and may ease the tension all around.

Best of all, when you take care of everything in advance, you won’t get any annoying late-night phone calls looking for an item you made sure to send.

Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

2)  Make Custody Exchanges At School

There are also many different ways to arrange for the kids to trade with your ex. These strategies reduce the time you have to endure, preemptively eliminate opportunities for conflict, and minimize one-on-one interactions as much as possible.

Here’s a simple, easy, effective one: Use your children’s compulsory education to your advantage and make custody exchanges at school.

One parent drops them off in the morning, the other picks them up in the afternoon. That way, no one has to see anyone they’d rather not.

As the parents aren’t both there, this can get tricky. Schools have become increasingly aware of custody issues and children’s whereabouts outside of school hours. (Anyone else remember just walking home from elementary school alone like it was no big deal?)

Depending on the age of your kids and the degree of supervision they require, you may want to, or be compelled to make a plan with the administrators.

Related Reading: Best Interest Of The Child

3)  Make Custody Exchanges At Daycare Or A Babysitter’s

This has similar benefits and drawbacks to the previous suggestion. You can drop the kids off at daycare, and your ex can pick them up. You pass like proverbial ships in the night. Regardless, the result is the same. This may spare you any unpleasant in-person encounters.

It’s a win for everybody.

Depending on the size of the daycare, or if the babysitter only looks after your kids on specific days, it may even be easier to schedule, work out the logistics, and let the appropriate parties know the plan rather than trading off at school.

Related Reading: Dealing With Parental Alienation

4) Make Custody Exchanges In A Neutral Public Place

There’s nothing like an audience to make people behave themselves. So where better to get one than in a public, neutral place?

Pick a location for custody exchanges where both parties will be reluctant to make a scene.

This can be a park, a mall, a restaurant, or a coffee shop. If things are extra contentious, you can even make the swap at a police station or a supervised visitation center, just in case you need a little extra incentive to play nice.

Related Reading: How to Find the Best Child Custody Lawyer

5) Bring A Third Party Along For The Swap

Just as people may be less likely to cause a ruckus in public, they may behave better if someone they know comes along for the ride.

Consider bringing a mutual acquaintance, ideally someone both parties know and trust, like a friend who kept ties with both of you.

This can help put everyone at ease and smooth over what little time you have to spend together. And if things are really bad, it never hurts to have a witness, maybe one taking video with their phone. Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that point because then there are probably much larger issues with which to contend.

On the other side of this situation, if there’s a new spouse or significant other in the picture, don’t bring them. That in itself might incur bad feelings and invite trouble where none is needed.

Related Reading: Child Custody and Mental Illness

An Unfortunate Reality

You may never want to see or speak to your ex again, but unfortunately for you, if there are kids in the picture, that’s not usually an option.

Sure, you can communicate through lawyers and mediators, and enlist all manner of third parties to run interference—there may even be lots of yelling and swear words—but there will still be at least some level of contact and communication during custody exchanges.

Essentially, you have to suck it up and deal.

Even with that reality, there are avenues available to make moments like exchanging custody as painless as possible for everyone. Have a plan, make arrangements, be efficient, let your kids know what’s going on, and, most importantly, keep things civil.

If not for your stress level and well-being, do it for your children. They see and feel your tension and hostility. If you can prevent your emotions from running wild, that only benefits them and is healthier for all of you.

Related Reading: What Happens When the Court Appoints a Guardian Ad Litem?

The right of first refusal can be an important piece of a child custody order. After divorce or battles over guardianship, non-custodial parents can use this measure to spend as much time with their kids as possible.

A few questions come often. How does the right of first refusal work? And does this do more harm than good?

What Is The Right Of First Refusal In Child Custody?

If there’s a right of first refusal clause in a child custody order, this essentially means if your ex is not going to be with your child, you have the first shot at being there. Before they call a babysitter, daycare, or other childcare option, they must offer it to you.

This provision allows the non-custodial parent to capitalize on opportunities to spend more time with the kids. It often makes up for limited visitation and manifests in a variety of ways.

The way it works is: If you have a right of first refusal clause in your child custody agreement, if you’re the non-custodial parent, you get the first chance to care for your child when the custodial parent can’t.

You have the right of first refusal to look after your children while your ex works instead of sending them to daycare. If your ex has a date, you have the opportunity to look after the kids instead of using a babysitter. When it comes to the custodial parent planning a solo vacation, the non-custodial parent has the right of first refusal in deciding who the kids stay with.

This comes into play in other circumstances. However, this is the general overview of how these provisions work on a practical level.

Related Reading: Enforcement Proceedings: What To Do If Your Ex Violates A Parenting Plan

Common Questions

This all sounds great, like it can be positive for everyone involved. But does the right of first refusal ultimately benefit you, your ex, and, most importantly, your children? The answer is not always as simple as it appears.

Right of first refusal is a broad term, one that describes a particular type of child custody order. To be effective, it needs precise, detailed language that lays out the intentions, scope, and limitations of the agreement.

Basically, you need to establish how it will function ahead of time, and you have a great deal to consider.

How often will these situations arise?

Will this be a regular occurrence or a once-in-a-blue-moon type of scenario? You need to make a plan based on your circumstances and the overall situation.

Does work-related childcare figure into the agreement?

One party may want to include this for ease and consistency, while the other may seek to leave it out to maximize parental time.

Is there a minimum time requirement?

Does the right of first refusal cover quick trips to the grocery store or does there have to be an absence of several hours or an overnight stay?

What about extended family members?

Can your ex leave the kids with their grandparents or an aunt, or do you always get the first shot?

These and more are things that you need to address.

Related Reading: Finding the Best Child Custody Lawyer: What Qualities To Look For

When Do Problems Arise With A Right of First Refusal?

Part of the discussion when developing the right of first refusal should include specifics and exceptions for the sake of clarity. While it may be the right fit in some situations, in others, it may make already tense or difficult circumstances even worse.

Bad Communication Skills

If you and your ex can get along and be amicable, this may work well. If not, problems often arise.

This scenario takes two sides willing and able to communicate at the very least on a functional level. But if all you do is fight, such levels of contact may give you one more thing to fight about and exacerbate an already strained relationship. Cooperation and flexibility are key.

Overreliance

If one parent comes to rely too heavily on the other, it sometimes also leads to friction.

You may want to spend as much time with your kids as possible, but that isn’t always feasible. The custodial parent may come to rely on this setup, to assume the other will immediately drop everything. No one wants to feel they’re being taken advantage of.

Inconsistency

The right of first refusal can be a useful parenting tool for both parties. But haphazard, inconsistent use can increase conflict. If the non-custodial parent can’t cover child care, it still falls to the primary guardian to figure something out.

Supervised Visitation

In cases where one parent’s time with the child is restricted to supervised visitation, the right of first refusal may run counter to the minor’s best interest. It may also prove impractical.

Distance

Practicality issues also crop up when the parents live a great distance from one another.

Depending on where you live, crisscrossing town, fighting traffic may consume huge amounts of time. For some, this may be workable, but for others, it’s far less pragmatic.

Domestic Violence

If there is a history of domestic violence between the two parties, the right of first refusal may cause more harm than good. Again, this requires cooperation and communication between parents to work. And if this is the case, the court likely won’t allow this provision anyway.

Related Reading: Can Your Ex Stop the Kids From Playing Sports?

When Is It The Right Choice?

The right of first refusal is a complex, intricate provision in a child custody agreement. It can be a valuable, useful tool in certain situations. But it can also do more harm than good in others.

Before heading down this path, it’s important to consider all the possible angles.

Especially as this is a contractual arrangement and a breach can carry significant penalties. In the end, you have to determine whether or not this is truly beneficial to you and your kids.

Related Reading: What Are a Father’s Rights In Oregon?

Families come in all shapes, sizes, and varieties. Most often parents are involved in a child’s life, but that’s not always the case. In some situations, grandparents or other third parties wind up with custody, raising another generation of kids. They may be the only parents a child ever knows.

This often happens when a parent battles mental health or substance abuse problems and wind up leaving a child in the care of a grandparent for an extended amount of time.

But what if they come back and want to cut off the connection between grandchild and grandparent? What rights do grandparents or other guardians have when it comes to custody and visitation in Oregon?

The law protects the rights of parents, both biological and adoptive. These laws, however, don’t necessarily extend to grandparents.

As in most cases involving minors, any visitation or custody cases put the best interests of the children above all other concerns. In most situations, the court presumes living with the parents is in the child’s best interest, but it’s possible to show otherwise.

Related Reading: Best Interest Of The Child

Can a Third Party Get Custody?

As you might imagine, this isn’t a quick, simple, or easy process.

Legally, a parent’s rights take precedence, but in Oregon, it is possible for a third party, including grandparents, to file for child custody.

To petition for custody, grandparents must have an established “child-parent relationship.”

What is a Child-Parent Relationship?

ORS 109.119 provides a specific definition of this term. Under this law:

“A child-parent relationship means a relationship that exists or did exist, in whole or in part, within the six months preceding the filing of an action under this section.

“And in which relationship a person having physical custody of a child or residing in the same household as the child supplied, or otherwise made available to the child, food, clothing, shelter, and incidental necessaries and provided the child with necessary care, education and discipline, and which relationship continued on a day-to-day basis, through interaction, companionship, interplay, and mutuality, that fulfilled the child’s psychological needs for a parent as well as the child’s physical needs.”

In short, if a grandparent serves as the primary guardian and caregiver, filling the traditional parental role, there may be grounds for the court to award third-party custody. Or at least, if they can show this, they have a sturdier case. Without this, the court isn’t likely to consider a grandparent’s claim.

Oregon doesn’t limit these third parties to grandparents or even a child’s blood relations. Anyone with an established child-parent relationship can file for custody. The rules governing this are, understandably, a bit different.

Under this statute:

“[A] relationship between a child and a person who is the non-related foster parent of the child is not a child-parent relationship under this section unless the relationship continued over a period exceeding 12 months.”

Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

Third-Party Temporary Power of Attorney

Another common concern involves extended stays while the parents are away.

One situation where this frequently arises is when single parents deploy in the military. It also pops up when parents travel for extended periods and leave kids with grandparents.

If you watch a grandchild for an extended time, the court can bestow temporary power of attorney. In cases like these, it’s advisable to take this step.

In Oregon, parents can give others the right to take care of their children for up to six months. This includes grandparents.

Granting temporary power of attorney does not forfeit the parent’s rights. It does, however, allow a short-term caretaker the power to make the necessary decisions to preserve the child’s well-being.

Granting temporary power of attorney doesn’t necessarily require court involvement. However, you must understand the implications of giving decision-making power to another person. The choices that individual makes carry consequences, financial and otherwise.

Once a parent grants temporary power of attorney, they can revoke it at any time.

The parent has the right to take the child back whenever they wish. If the document doesn’t specify a time frame, power of attorney expires after six months.

Oregon also has a third-party custody statute. This provides for an involved individual to pursue court-ordered visitation or custody. While this frequently applies to grandparents, the law doesn’t limit it to them. This statute applies to other family members or parties who have a legitimate claim.

Related Reading: Child Custody: The Best Interests of the Child

When Can a Third Party File For Custody?

Again, the court generally views living with their biological parents as the best option for children. But that doesn’t mean it’s true in every situation.

If living with their birth parents puts a child in harm’s way, the court may grant custody elsewhere. This is most common in cases of neglect and abuse.

Being awarded custody, especially against the objections of a present legal parent, is no easy feat.

The grandparents, or another third party, need to prove that they truly represent the child’s best interests. They must rebut the presumption that it’s always better for a child to live with his or her parents.

You must show:

• That the legal parent is either unable or unwilling to provide adequate care for the minor child in question.
• The grandparent, or another party if that’s the case, is or recently was the primary caregiver for the child.
• If the request is denied, you must prove that it is detrimental to the well-being of the child.
• The legal parent has previously encouraged or even consented to the relationship between the child and the grandparent.
• That the legal parent restricted or outright denied contact between the grandparent and grandchild in an unreasonable fashion.

How much the court weighs a particular component varies from case to case. Other elements and evidence are also up for consideration.

At a basic level, your case needs to demonstrate that the legal parent isn’t acting in the child’s best interests. You must also demonstrate that a change in custody represents a substantial positive shift.

But just because you satisfy these points doesn’t mean the court will automatically rule in your favor.

Judges and the law give a great deal of credence to the parent-child relationship. There are many cases where, for instance, grandparents were the primary caregivers for six months or longer, but the court still denied a child custody claim.

Related Reading: Custody Modification After the Final Judgment

What About Visitation?

Even if grandparents don’t pursue custody, visitation is another avenue to remain in the lives of grandchildren.

Like with custody, if there are issues with the parents or guardians, you have to petition for visitation.

The grounds for grandparents being awarded visitation in Oregon are similar to those for custody.

Courts consider:

• Whether the grandparent was the primary caregiver.
• If denial of visitation negatively impacts the child.
• Whether they were unreasonably denied contact.
• If the parent has previously encouraged a relationship between grandparent and grandchild.

Additionally, the court also weighs whether or not visitation interferes with the custodial relationship.

Third-Party Rights When One Parent Has Primary Custody

Generally speaking, both legal parents have equal rights to be part of a child’s life. But if the court awards one parent greater rights than the other, third-party rights may come into play.

An example:

Let’s say a grandfather watches his grandson while his son is at work. If no court order exists specifically outlining when the child is to spend time with the respective parents, then either parent can take the child from the non-parent on demand.

In this case, the child’s mother could show up and take the child.

However, if a current court order allocates specific parenting time, the other parent can’t take the child on demand.

In the above situation, if the grandfather watches the grandson during the period the court order grants the son parenting time, the mother can’t take the child at will.

If there is a court order laying out who has the child, it’s often useful to keep a copy on hand. This way, if the child is in a grandparent’s care and one parent tries to pull anything, you can reference the document.

Third-party custody cases, whether they involve grandparents or not, are complicated.

As with most situations involving children, their best interests take precedence over parental preference and convenience.

Related Reading: Can I Sign Away Parental Rights?

Circumstances evolve. People move, lose jobs, change living situations, and more. Divorce settlements and parenting plans are based on your situation at a particular moment in time. But what happens when things shift? What if you want to modify a child custody order after the final judgment has already come down?

Can You Modify A Parenting Plan After The Final Judgment?

For people in these situations, it can be frustrating. Fortunately, there are options available to adjust parenting schedules and increase your time with your kids. Even after the final judgment.

Modifications and appeals provide opportunities for amending custody orders.

That said, though it is possible, it’s usually an uphill battle. In the best scenarios, it’s a long, often expensive struggle. And even if you convincingly make your case, sometimes it’s just not enough to lead to a change.

Related Reading: Custody: The Best Interests of the Child

What is child custody modification?

You can use the child custody modification process to change an order after the final judgment.

This can amend where the child lives, the frequency and duration of visits, the amount of financial support, and other elements of the original parenting plan.

Depending on what you want to change, modifications fall into one of two categories: major or minor.

As the name implies, major modification requests significant changes to the parenting plan. Think of these as titanic shifts in the existing arrangement.

A good example of a major change would be to request physical custody from your ex. Meaning your child lived with your ex, but now you want them to live with you.

Minor modification, on the other hand, includes things like adjusting pickup times or switching drop-off locations for weekend visits.

Related Reading: Dealing With Parental Alienation

What Is The Process for Custody Modification?

In many situations, especially when it comes to small things, parents often agree to changes on their own. We’re talking about small things, like swapping visitation weekends or pushing a pickup back a few hours to go to a Trailblazers game.

Schedules change, things come up, and people need to adjust on the fly. This is a regular part of life.

However, to make any permanent modifications to the parenting plan, major or minor, the court must evaluate them first.

Before the court grants a modification, the person requesting the change must demonstrate a substantial reason. If you can’t show adequate cause, the court will most likely dismiss your case.

Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

How Do You Qualify for a Custody Modification?

Here’s where things get tricky. As we said, though child custody modification is possible, it’s a difficult proposition.

However, if both parents agree on a new custody arrangement without the courts having to step in, that makes things much easier. It’s when the other parent contests the proposed alterations that things get messy.

When it comes to custody, the courts place the child’s best interests above all other concerns. They aim to keep the child’s life as steady and consistent as possible. Because of this, they’re often hesitant to make substantial changes to an existing parenting plan. Like swapping living situations. The biggest exceptions are in cases of abuse or neglect, or where a child’s health or safety may be in danger.

To achieve a modification, you have to demonstrate a significant change in circumstances. The courts are much less likely to consider requests that are more for parental convenience than other reasons.

Examples of significant changes include:

• One parent moving to another city or state, such that it would make it logistically difficult to abide by the parenting plan.
• A drastic shift in the work schedule of one or both parents.
• The primary parent being negligent, mentally or physically abusive, or unreliable.
• The child wants to spend more time with the parent who was not awarded primary custody.

To achieve a child custody modification, consulting an experienced family law attorney will help your case and increase your odds. A professional who has been through these situations before can be invaluable. They’ll be able to assess your case, give you a better idea of your chances of being successful, and offer advice about the best way to proceed.

Because modifying a parenting plan after the final judgment is often so difficult, it’s best to do things right the first time. Custody cases are notoriously emotional and difficult. Still, taking the time and putting in the work upfront only benefits you and, most importantly, your kids.

Related Reading: Can You Modify A Child Support Order?

Being a parent is a tough job and a huge responsibility. Depending on who you talk to, it may very well be the toughest gig around. Rewarding, fulfilling, and worthwhile, it’s also demanding, draining, and not for everyone. Is it possible, for those so inclined, to sign away parental rights?

Some people take to parenthood naturally. Others, however, grit their teeth and power through out of obligation. But for those who just don’t get the hang of it, have zero interest, or are otherwise incapable, are there other options? If you want to relinquish these duties, is it possible to sign away parental rights in Oregon?

Is it possible to sign away parental rights in Oregon?

The short answer to this question is: No.

Neither parent can terminate their custodial duties and obligations and just walk away.

Once you bring a child into this world, unless you give it up for adoption, it’s your duty and you remain responsible. You can find caveats and workarounds, but in a general sense, that’s how the law works.

Many factors push a person towards wanting to sign away parental rights. Issues with addiction, mental illness, or abuse all often play a role. Maybe your ex has made it clear you’re no longer welcome in your child’s life. If a child is old enough, he or she may also be able to communicate this desire.

Whatever the circumstances, this is an intense situation and not a decision to be made lightly.

Related Reading: Best Interests Of The Child

Can Parental Rights Be Taken Away By The State?

While neither you nor your spouse can sign away parental rights on your own accord, the state can step in and terminate them.

In the case the court deems you unfit to care for a child, or even stay a part of his or her life, they often intercede. This usually happens after lengthy court proceedings. In most cases, this occurs if a parent poses a threat to the health and well-being of the kids.

Adoption as an Alternative

As we mentioned, there is one situation where it’s possible to willingly sign away parental rights. If you and your spouse divorce, and they marry someone else, the new spouse can legally adopt your child.

In Oregon, this is the only circumstance where a parent can sign away parental rights voluntarily.

Once such an adoption becomes final, the new parent assumes all rights and obligations. You will no longer be on the hook for child support, child custody, visitation, or any other commitments or requirements.

On the other hand, you also give up any legal right to be involved in the child’s life at any point in the future. It’s a major decision, not one to be taken lightly.

That said, if there are preexisting responsibilities, like unpaid child support, those remain on your plate. Such debts are enforceable and collectible and are not conveyed to the adoptive parent.

If you owe money, you remain obligated to deliver that amount.

Related Reading: Oregon Child Custody Evaluations: What To Expect

Stepping Away

As family courts generally place the well-being of any minor children above other concerns, they base any decisions on the best interests of the child or children in question. If a child could potentially lose financial support, you most likely won’t be able to legally sever your connection, even in the case of adoption.

You can, however, effectively remove yourself from your child’s life. If that’s the choice you want to make.

In this situation, you still must continue to pay any child support ordered by the court.

Though you may be compelled to participate financially, you can forgo any other involvement in your child’s life. This includes visitation, decision making, and more. In this manner, you remove yourself without actually having to sign away parental rights.

This strategy also leaves the door open for a relationship down the road. Whatever your current issues, whatever the reasons that drove you to want to sign away parental rights in the first place, they may not always be such a barrier between you and your children.

Perhaps eventually you still have hope for reconciliation. Maybe not, but relationships change and evolve over time. Whatever problems exist, you may be able to fix them at some point.

This is not an easy situation. No doubt the surrounding circumstances must be extreme to make you want to sign away parental rights. However, unless very specific requirements are met, this is not an option. Though, as stated above, there are ways to accomplish this if it’s truly what’s best for your life and your children.

Related Reading: Third-Party Custody and Grandparents Have Child Custody Rights?