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Common Divorce Mediation Questions and Answers
Key Takeaways:
Despite what we see in movies and on TV, divorce and child custody cases don’t always go to court. Those situations certainly make for compelling fictional drama, but in reality, there are a variety of options beyond litigation. Mediation is a popular choice, so we often hear many common questions about it.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Mediation is a method of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). ADR strategies provide an alternative to going to trial. A neutral third party helps the two parties work toward an optimal solution.

It can be used in various civil matters and has become popular in divorce, custody, and other disputes. You can use this approach to divide property, establish spousal and child support, create a parenting plan, and address most other areas of family law.

Is Mediation Legally Binding?

One of the most common mediation questions we hear is whether or not the process is legally binding.

No, mediation is not legally binding.

Even though you and your spouse agree to go through the process and settle a dispute this way, no decision is imposed upon anyone.

There’s no concrete and final decree, and in the end, both parties must accept the terms. The mediator doesn’t pass judgment. He or she only facilitates an arrangement between two people.

Why Choose Mediation?

Mediation is popular because it’s cheaper and faster than a long, drawn-out trial. It’s also much less stressful.

Instead of presenting arguments and having a judge rule, in these cases, it’s usually a handful of people sitting in a room, working towards a common end.

And if you can truly work together, many people feel better about the result—you’re part of the process, and it’s not just some outsider handing down a decree.

In some cases, couples try mediation before moving forward with litigation.

Related Reading: Community Property Vs. Equitable Distribution

What Types Of Mediation Are There?

When it comes to mediation, there are three types or styles to choose from. Each has its own peculiarities, and which is best for you depends on the circumstances.

Evaluative Mediation

In the evaluative mediation style, the facilitator points out weaknesses or deficiencies in a case and provides a better idea of what you might expect from a trial.

Facilitative Mediation

In the facilitative mediation style, the mediator essentially helps both parties understand their options and reach a mutually beneficial resolution.

Transformative Mediation

A transformative mediation approach seeks to empower each party and help each side recognize the other’s needs and points of view.

The mediator supports both sides but allows them to determine the direction and structure of the proceedings. This is most common when both sides want to fix a broken relationship and mend fences.

Related Reading: Common Financial Mistakes In Divorce

Should You Hire A Lawyer For Mediation?

One perk many see in mediation is that it doesn’t require a lawyer and the accompanying legal fees.

That said, you may still want to consider hiring a divorce attorney, especially if your spouse has representation.

A professional advises you during the process and steers you in the optimal direction. They also make sure the agreement is fair before anything becomes official.

Even if you do hire a lawyer, the cost will likely still be much less than if you go to trial.

Related Reading: How Student Loans Impact Divorce

How Long Does It Take?

Another benefit of mediation is that it’s usually a much shorter process. Instead of a lengthy trial, most only last a day or two.

Mediated cases tend to be less complex than those that go to trial, but the process is also more streamlined.

It’s often much more convenient, as you can schedule appointments to fit into your calendar rather than wait for the court to set a date.

Related Reading: How To File For Divorce In Oregon

Is The Mediation Process Confidential?

The mediation process is also confidential. Conversations and communication between you and your spouse remain private. Mediators keep any information they receive confidential as part of their professional code of conduct.

None of the specifics appear on public court or legal documents.

This is very much a behind-closed-doors proposition. Like most legal matters, however, there are exceptions. For example, incidents of child abuse or potential criminal actions that may harm someone.

How Do You Choose A Mediator?

Much like most legal professionals, mediators often specialize in specific areas.

If yours is a high-asset divorce, look for one with experience in financial matters. When child custody is a major issue, find someone who specializes in it.

If you hire a divorce attorney, he or she likely has local resources and recommendations for someone to handle your case.

Related Reading: How Is Property Divided In Divorce?

How Is Mediation Different From Arbitration?

Arbitration is another form of alternative dispute resolution. Similar in process to mediation—two sides sit down with a third party instead of going to court—there are key differences.

While mediation is more collaborative, arbitration more closely mimics a trial. Both sides present evidence and make arguments.

In arbitration, however the moderator has the power to render a decision.

Like mediation, family law arbitration is a voluntary process. But in this case, the two sides agree in advance that any judgments are legally binding.

Litigation in divorce is stressful, hectic, expensive, and presents a variety of other concerns. Fortunately, alternatives to trial do exist. Mediation is one that many couples ending a marriage choose. It may not be the right fit for your situation, but it is worth considering.

Related Reading: How Is A Business Divided During Divorce?
August 13, 2026
How Is A Business Divided In A Divorce?
Key Takeaways:
If you own your own business, you pour your heart and hard work into it. They not only represent your passions and drives, but there are also practical concerns. Especially when it comes to divorce. Is a business something the courts divide in a divorce? Can you protect your business in a divorce?

If you’re in this situation, you probably have a lot of questions. We’ll do our best to provide some answers, though they might not always be easy to hear.

Is a Business A Divisible Asset During Divorce?

In divorce, above everything else, your business is an asset. It’s also probably one of your most valuable assets.

The process of ending a marriage is already a snarl of dividing shared assets, property, and debt. When a business factors into the equation, it presents a whole different set of problems and challenges. You must consider many issues and answer a variety of questions.
- Are you and your spouse business partners?
- Did you start the business before the marriage?
- Did you start the business during the marriage?
- Do you have outside collaborators or investors?
How this plays out directly impacts your livelihood and quality of life. It’s a tricky road, and with that in mind, here are some considerations to keep in mind when dealing with a business during divorce.

Related Reading: How Is Property Divided In Oregon?

Businesses Are Assets In Divorce

You likely have a deep personal connection to your business. Whether it’s a restaurant, a dog walking service, or you make artisanal hummus, you put years of your life into this venture.

Since the courts view your business as an asset, in the end, it treats it as such.

It may have great personal worth, but it also has a specific dollar value, and that’s what the court looks at. It’s one of many things to break down and distribute between you and your spouse during the division of property.

Related Reading: Common Financial Mistakes in Divorce

What Are the Business Origins?

As we said above, when you started a business often has a substantial impact on how the courts divide it during a divorce.

Businesses Started During a Marriage

While you can use a prenuptial agreement to shield your business if it exists before your marriage, what can you do if you start a business during your marriage?

If you start a business while married, it will likely be considered marital property. This means it will probably be vulnerable to division in a divorce. Similar to other assets acquired during a marriage, the courts will view this as belonging to both spouses.

This unfortunately means you may have limited options when it comes to protecting your business from divorce. That said, you’re not completely without ways to cover yourself.

Just because the court views a business as the property of both spouses, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will divide the company between the two parties. The court could assign the business to you and award other assets to your spouse to offset any discrepancy.

You also have other options to protect your business during your marriage:

Postnuptial Agreement: A postnuptial agreement can help safeguard a business you start after you marry. Similar to a prenup, this contract allows a couple to specify who gets a business, or other assets, in the event of divorce. This offers one way to protect your hard work, helps shield your business, and ensures your financial future.

A Trust: Another option to protect your business during divorce is to create trust. This strategy comes with a laundry list of complicated legal concerns, but it may work in certain cases. You’ll want to talk to a lawyer if this option interests you.

Businesses Started Before a Marriage

Things do change if the business predates your marriage. In this case, the court will likely view it as, at least in part, separate property. But other factors influence and complicate this status.

If you invest joint funds, that changes things. Commingling marital and business assets further muddy the waters. When your spouse invests sweat equity in the business, that also blurs the lines.

Related Reading: Creating a Divorce Strategy

Dividing A Business: Valuation, Division, and Allocation

Valuation

One big factor that impacts business during divorce is valuation. If you have an attorney, one major decision to make is whether or not to have the value of a business appraised.

In the case of many smaller service-oriented businesses, like hair salons or construction companies, they don’t necessarily have substantial “goodwill.” When it comes to accounting, “goodwill” refers to intangible assets that aren’t separately identifiable and quantifiable. Think reputation and position in a particular marketplace, among other variables.

In situations without goodwill, a business is worth what you can easily measure. It amounts to assets less liabilities. They create an income and are more akin to a traditional job.

But other businesses have a value beyond that. A company with high standing in its field has a higher value than one with a lower position, even though that’s difficult to put a dollar amount on.

When it comes to this type of business during divorce, a good appraiser is often critical to determining an accurate value. This, however, is not cheap. It can cost anywhere from $5000 to $15,000 depending on the specific situation.

Ways to Divide And Allocate

Much like how you have multiple options to protect your business during divorce, you also have various ways to divide and allocate a business in the settlement. A few potential strategies include:
- Buy-Out: One common option is for one spouse to buy out the other. This works best when one has more interest in continuing to run the business than the other.
- Forfeit Other Assets: As stated earlier, couples often work out a split that’s favorable to both parties. For example, in exchange for the business, you may give up any claim to a shared home or other valuable properties.
- Divide the Business: In some cases, you may have the option of splitting a company into separate businesses. For instance, if you and your spouse run an accounting firm and have distinct clients, this option may work.
- Sell Out and Move On: If it’s impossible to work out any other arrangement, your best option may be to sell the business, split the proceeds, and move on. This is often easier said than done, however. How much you sell the company for, if you can sell it at all, depends on many factors. Location, industry, competition, and demand all impact the potential dollar amount. Many businesses, especially small businesses, simply don’t sell on the open market.
- Business as Usual: This one is rare, but it does happen. In some cases, couples divorce but continue to run their shared business as usual. Sometimes marriages don’t last, but a business relationship continues to flourish. In amicable splits, this may be a realistic option.
When You Have Other Business Partners

Businesses are often expensive, intricate, and require a great deal of work. As such, they frequently involve multiple partners. Because of this, when one business partner divorces, it impacts all the stakeholders in the company. Any number of things can go wrong.

Divorce has the potential to expose the business to the scrutiny of outside assessors. Since your stake is an asset, likely one of your biggest, the courts can split it up during the division of property.

You may even have to liquidate your share in order to meet other financial obligations in the divorce agreement.

When you have business partners, it’s not only your livelihood on the line, the livelihood of others also hangs in the balance. Protecting your business in the case of divorce also protects your partners.

Related Reading: Ways to Save Money on a Divorce

Protecting Your Business Before You Marry

If you have a pre-existing business, the easiest and most common way to protect it in the case of divorce is with a prenuptial agreement.

Prenups often carry negative connotations in the public’s perception. People view them as betting on a relationship to fail or that you don’t trust the person you’re marrying. However, the reality is very different. They can be important tools to protect yourself and what you’ve built.

In business, you strive for success. You hope for the best but also plan for the worst. The same goes for marriage.

Prenuptial agreements are drafted with the hope they’ll never be needed. But having one in place can make a huge difference. Like a life vest on a boat. Hopefully, you’ll never need it, but you’ll be glad it’s there if you do. Think of it as an insurance policy.

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During Divorce?
July 29, 2026
Can You Make a Major Purchase During Divorce?
Key Takeaways:
The divorce process comes with many expenses. You have court costs, filing fees, an attorney to pay, and even a change in tax status. In many cases, you need to find a new place to live. Perhaps your custody arrangement necessitates buying a new car. As things are ongoing, the question arises: can you make major purchases during a divorce?

If you buy a car during divorce proceedings, can you lose it when you come to the division of property? Does it make you look bad in the eyes of the court?

Like most elements of divorce, you have much to consider before going on a spending spree.

How Do Major Purchases Impact Divorce?

Oregon’s equitable distribution model influences how courts deal with major purchases made during a divorce. Where the money came from colors how they look at and ultimately classify acquisitions.

Using shared funds usually results in that item being treated as marital property. On the other hand, if you use outside resources to make a purchase, it may fall under the separate property umbrella.

Oregon generally views each spouse’s income as marital funds. Major purchases made with these funds will also likely be viewed as such. The courts also retain the power to use these items to achieve an equitable split in the division of property.

Related Reading: How is Property Divided in Divorce?

What If You Make a Big Purchase During Divorce?

There are no specific, hard-and-fast guidelines for splitting assets under Oregon’s equitable distribution laws. The goal is for both parties to emerge on relatively equal footing and maintain a standard of living similar to that during the marriage.

When it comes to a major purchase made during divorce, many factors come into play. A big one is where the money came from.

If you use separate money to buy a car, you’re probably good. However, if you use a shared account or similar funds, the court may view it as an asset to divide.

Spending also influences divorce in other ways. For instance, if you claim you can’t make child support or spousal support payments, but throw around cash with abandon, it reflects poorly on your case.

It’s one thing to buy a safer, more reliable car to drive the kids around or pick up a couch for a new place. But if you buy a jet ski and claim to be broke, that looks bad.

Related Reading: Common Mistakes Men Make in Divorce

What If Your Spouse Makes a Big Purchase?

Making major purchases during a divorce can impact your case. On the other hand, they also affect your spouse’s situation in similar ways.

If your soon-to-be ex argues for spousal support but buys a snowmobile or something impractical, it won’t likely help their cause.

One frequent worry is that the other side will run out and use community funds on big-ticket items. Warring spouses have been known to drain joint accounts. Reckless spending like this can put you in a hole. If you have this concern, there are ways to prevent such behavior.

You should always keep an eye on your finances. Additionally, depending on the circumstances, it’s possible to convince the court to call for a temporary financial restraining order.

This action allows for regular purchases, like gas or groceries. But when it comes to major purchases with shared funds, both parties need to approve.

Related Reading: How Is A Business Divided During A Divorce? Can You Protect It?

Financing Major Purchases

Most major purchases are financed. Cars, houses, furniture, electronics, and the like. At times, it may look like your future ex is on a spending jag, but that’s not always the whole truth.

Whether or not such purchases are game for the division of property varies from one case to the next. Again, if a down payment comes from shared funds, the court will likely account for that.

However, if that down payment originated from a separate source, the court may declare the item in question, and any future payments, belong to the purchaser.

Protecting Yourself

It’s important to know divorce doesn’t negate any loans, contracts, or financial deals you and your spouse entered while married. This fact goes overlooked all too often.

If you and your ex purchase something together and make regular payments, both names stay on the paperwork. Even after divorce. It’s possible to refinance loans and the like, but ending your marriage doesn’t automatically get you out of pre-existing agreements. The original terms remain in place.

This is important because it can impact your financial future and continue to do so for a long time.

Say your spouse winds up responsible for a joint car loan. If your name remains on the records, and any payments get missed, it negatively impacts you. It can ding your credit score and creditors can even come after you.

It’s best to have your ex refinance any loans and remove your name. You may be able to have a provision like this written into the final divorce agreement, even a deadline.

Still, follow-through is another matter entirely. Make sure this happens and be aware of the potential impact if it doesn’t.

Odds are, you’ll have to make at least a few major purchases while handling your divorce. It’s important to understand how these influence the proceedings and know how to reduce the havoc they can cause.

Stay away from impulse buys. Think through all big-ticket items in a calm, logical manner. If you do have to have to make an expensive purchase, don’t hide it, know where the funds come from, and be aware of how it may influence your situation.

Related Reading: Student Loan Debt and Divorce
July 16, 2026
Do You Qualify For A Summary Dissolution?
Key Takeaways:
Not every marriage works out. At the same time, not every marriage ends in a heated screaming match.

What Is A Summary Dissolution?

In certain situations, couples can skip the divorce process if they qualify for summary dissolution. This is different than an uncontested divorce. If you meet the criteria, you can streamline the process with less cost.

What Are the Requirements For A Summary Dissolution?

To qualify in Oregon, you must fulfill specific requirements. If you don’t meet the criteria, including marriage length, whether or not there are children, the amount of shared property, and more, you’ll have to go the more traditional route. But if you do check off all the boxes, this often streamlines the process a great deal.

The law in Oregon lays out specific guidelines for whether or not a marriage qualifies.

Length of Marriage

A marriage must be shorter than ten years to qualify for summary dissolution.

Do you have Children?

You and your spouse can’t have any minor children and the woman cannot be pregnant. This includes adopted or stepchildren from an earlier relationship.

If you have children over the age of 18, but who still attend school, that also disqualifies you.

Real Property

Owning any land, homes or buildings excludes you from summary dissolution. Even part ownership or a minor interest cuts this off. Whether this property lies within Oregon or not, doesn’t matter.

Most commonly this is a house or other shared home, but any real estate fits the bill. Mobile homes on rented land, however, do not fall into this category.

Personal Property

You may still qualify for summary dissolution if you have limited property or assets, shared or separate. Again, the amount varies from one state to the next.

In Oregon, the magic number is $30,000. So, if the total assets exceed that amount, you don’t qualify.

Debt

Like personal property, having too much debt also puts summary dissolution out of reach.

You qualify if you and your spouse have less than $15,000 in unpaid debt, individually or together. This includes student loans, credit card debt, medical bills, car loans, and anywhere else you owe money.

Division of Property

Since summary dissolution aims to keep the situation as simple as possible, you and your spouse must be on the same page when it comes to the division of property.

Know in advance how you intend to split both assets and debts. There’s no time to waste bickering back and forth about who gets the car or that box of kitschy mementos from your honeymoon. Such conflict doesn’t fit in this situation.

Spousal Support

Neither party can request spousal support. This keeps the summary dissolution process streamlined.

Related Reading: How Is Property Divided In Divorce?

Other Divorce Actions

If you want a summary dissolution, you can’t already have other divorce actions pending. In Oregon or elsewhere. This includes divorce, annulment, or separation proceedings that have been filed but have not yet been decided.

Basically, you can’t already have a divorce or other end to your marriage in the works.

Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce: When is DIY the Best Choice?

Temporary Orders

By going with summary dissolution, you waive any rights to temporary orders. Obviously, there won’t be any custody orders, but you can’t ask for things like temporary spousal support or exclusive use of marital property either.

There are, however, exceptions for restraining orders and others that fall under the Family Abuse Prevention Act and the Elderly and Disabled Persons Abuse Prevention Act.

Residency

Every divorce has residency requirements, and summary dissolution is no different. Like many other elements, these vary from state to state.

In Oregon, either you or your spouse must be a resident—it’s not necessary for both of you to be residents—and have lived in the state for six continuous months before filing.

This primarily comes up for couples who recently relocated. You don’t have much to worry about this if you’re a longtime resident.

Your situation must meet all these requirements to qualify for summary dissolution in Oregon.

If you don’t check off every last one of these boxes, you’ll have to take a more traditional route to divorce. Summary dissolution works best in short, simple marriages with few complications. And every one of these categories represents a different complication.

Related Reading: The Most Common Mediation Questions Answered
July 7, 2026
Writ Of Assistance, Divorce, And Child Custody in Oregon
Key Takeaways:
Divorce and child custody cases often become intense and antagonistic undertakings. Just because a judge hands down an order doesn’t mean it will always be followed.

Oregon law includes numerous writs, which are formal court orders that either require action or grant authority to perform a specific act. When it comes to enforcing divorce orders and child custody plans, a writ of assistance is a document that often comes into play.

What is a Writ of Assistance?

On a basic level, a writ of assistance is a written court order that instructs law enforcement, such as a sheriff or police officer, to take action to help one party obtain something specifically ordered in a previous court order.

That sounds like a lot, but this new order essentially helps enforce an existing one. This manifests in various ways in family law situations.

Use in Restraining Orders

Restraining orders are often an unfortunate part of combative, contentious divorces. If one party obtains such a mandate against the other, unwanted contact may result in contempt charges.

For Example:

Say an ex-wife gets a restraining order against her ex-husband. In this situation, he can’t return to the house without violating the order, even to collect his things. A writ of assistance helps in these circumstances.

After obtaining one, an officer accompanies the husband to the marital home to collect clothes, medicine, and other items. He can show up, get what he needs, and vacate the premises without worrying about contempt charges or arrest.

Called a “Civil Standby,” and short in duration, such visits are limited to personal belongings and last approximately 15 minutes. It allows you to get in, get your things, and get out, nothing more.

Related Reading: What to Know About Restraining Orders

Use in Property Division

The division of property is a big part of the divorce process. The final judgment divides the shared assets and awards specific items to each party.

This is all well and good, but what if your ex refuses to surrender the property in question?

If your divorce decree awards you a piece of furniture, an appliance, or other items, but your ex refuses to hand them over, a writ of assistance comes in handy.

The court can issue an order that directs law enforcement to accompany you to the house to obtain the property from the settlement. If your ex continues to stand in the way, they face legal consequences. Potentially even arrest.

An important note, a writ of assistance only applies to one specific location.

Another potential example: If you arrive to pick up a boat awarded to you in the settlement, but it’s now stored at your ex’s parents’, you can’t go there and get it without a new order.

Related Reading: Enforcing A Parenting Plan

Use in Child Custody

A writ of assistance can also be useful in cases involving child custody and visitation. Too often, children become pawns in the struggle between bitter parents.

If you have blocks of visitation in your divorce settlement, but your ex denies this time, a writ of assistance gives the local police authority to enforce your parenting time.

This step often becomes necessary in these situations. Otherwise, many law enforcement officers can’t or won’t intervene, viewing an ex not following a parenting plan as a civil matter.

A judge may also issue a writ of assistance over health and safety concerns.

If the court finds that a child is in imminent physical danger, it may call for an order to remove the child from a situation and for law enforcement to take physical custody. This is an extreme circumstance, but one that unfortunately does happen.

Related Reading: Fathers’ Rights and Child Custody: What You Should Know

How Do You Obtain A Writ of Assistance?

As discussed, a writ of assistance has multiple uses. The questions of whether you need one, whether to obtain one, or how to get one remain. Like every legal practice, this process involves multiple steps that must be followed.

To file a motion seeking a writ of assistance, you’ll need a couple of items.
- First, there must be an existing judgment that explicitly awards you the rights to a specific piece of property. Or, it can entitle you to certain actions, like the visitation of your children.
- You also need an affidavit that declares you have the right to the property or action. Most of the time, these point back to the previous judgment.
From there, a judge will consider the claim and decide whether or not to rule in your favor.

A writ of assistance is one tool to help ensure and enforce your rights in divorce and child custody cases. Similar to most legal undertakings, things often get complicated in short order. As usual, if you want to attempt to walk this path, it’s in your best interest to hire an experienced attorney who can show you the way.

Related Reading: What Is A Status Quo Order?
June 29, 2026
Pro Se Divorce: When Is DIY The Best Option?
Key Takeaways:
With the spread of online guides and resources, do-it-yourself divorce has never been more accessible. But when is so-called pro se divorce the best fit? What if your spouse has a divorce lawyer?

What is “Pro Se Divorce”?

From a legal perspective, the term for representing oneself is “pro se.“ It comes from Latin and means “for oneself.” While not exclusive to divorce, a pro se approach is common when it comes to dissolving a marriage.

When is DIY divorce your best option?

If you’re an experienced divorce attorney, the decision to represent yourself is much easier. Most people, however, haven’t gone to law school, passed the Oregon State bar exam, or practiced law in a professional capacity. So the question remains, when is DIY divorce or representing yourself your best option?

Generally, pro se divorce is best suited for simple, straightforward cases.

This usually applies to:
- Shorter marriages.
- Marriages with no children.
- Marriages with little or no shared property to divide.
- When both spouses agree on most key issues.
Pro se divorce usually fits best in these or similar situations. It’s possible to download the forms, fill them out, pay the fees, file the paperwork, and be done, all in relatively short order.

In some cases, representing yourself is the quickest, easiest, cheapest way to proceed. Both parties can walk away and return to their lives with minimal fuss and bother.

Related Reading: Divorce And Filing Forms: What To Know

When is Pro Se divorce NOT the best option?

While pro se divorce works well in simple, straightforward situations, things often get complicated in a hurry. The more moving parts to deal with, the more problems arise.
- Depending on the length of the marriage, you may be eligible for a portion of your spouse’s retirement benefits. You may even be able to draw Social Security against your ex’s work history.
- Things get even more tangled when a divorce involves children. You have child custody, visitation, and parenting plans to contend with.
- You need to know how Oregon calculates child support, who pays what, how long it continues, how it impacts taxes, and much more.
- Spousal support is another area of concern. Depending on the circumstances, you may be eligible to receive spousal maintenance. On the other hand, you may have to pay. There are multiple types of spousal support in Oregon, and each applies to different, specific criteria.
- Dividing property and assets also complicates matters. If you jointly own a home, cars, or other high-value property, things get knotted quickly.
- The same goes for shared debt, whether it be mortgages, loans, or joint credit card balances.
- If your spouse has an attorney. Going up against someone with experience puts you at a serious disadvantage. Having someone with an intimate knowledge of the laws and the process protects your best interests.
Related Reading: Dividing Debt in Divorce

Do You Need An Attorney If Your Spouse Has One?

Can you represent yourself? Yes. Should you? Probably not. If your spouse hires a divorce lawyer, it’s usually in your best interest to hire an attorney to represent you.

You don’t want to get through the whole process only to have the court throw everything out because your divorce settlement favors one spouse too much or because you made an easily avoidable error when filing paperwork.

When dividing property, assets, and debts, if you don’t know what to look for, people often leave potentially valuable assets on the table or agree to an unfair split. You may wind up saddled with unforeseen tax burdens or debts.

You may agree to a less-than-optimal parenting plan or child support payments because you don’t know any better or that other options exist.

Unless you have legal experience, you generally don’t want to go against an expert practitioner without help. A lawyer will help you avoid these pitfalls.

Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

What are the benefits of Pro Se Divorce?

The biggest draw of pro se divorce is obviously the cost. Handling matters yourself usually ends up being exponentially less expensive. Good divorce lawyers aren’t cheap.

When you use a step-by-step guide or online kit, the damage inflicted on your wallet drops sharply. Instead of potentially thousands of dollars in attorney fees, the cost can be a little more than a few hundred to file the paperwork.

This strategy also allows both sides to work together towards a common end. It often results in less adversity, and simpler cases tend to resolve much faster.

Related Reading: What Are Grounds For Divorce In Oregon?

What are the risks of DIY divorce?

Though there are definite benefits to representing yourself, pro se divorce also comes with certain risks. Saving money is fantastic, and if both of you are truly willing to work together, it’s a viable option.

Many couples start the road to divorce with the best intentions. But it’s important to ask yourself whether you and your spouse can truly collaborate because inexperience may bite you in several ways.

Mistakes often wind up costing more time and money in the long run.

Court appearances, mediation, evaluations, and other legal appointments take a great deal of time. You may have to take days off work and rearrange your schedule.

Every step of the process has potential hazards and dangers you may not know to look for. This even goes as far as filling out forms improperly. It’s often in your best interests to have an experienced pro handling these issues or at least looking out for you.

Related Reading: How Do Major Purchases Affect Divorce?

Pro se divorce often sounds like the best idea, and in many cases, it fits your needs and provides an effective, less expensive, stripped-down approach to ending a marriage. Though there are potential benefits, potential hazards also exist. Before moving forward, it’s important to be aware of both and closely consider the specific needs of your case.

Related Reading: Should I Move Out During Divorce? What To Do Before You Leave Home
June 22, 2026
How Does Spousal Support Work In Oregon?
Key Takeaways:
You encounter many expenses in the process of ending your marriage. Not only do you have to pay attorney’s fees, court costs, and charges for filing paperwork, but others follow in the wake of divorce. One of the biggest common expenses is when the court awards spousal support to your ex.

There are expenditures associated with setting up a new home, your tax status changes, and you may wind up paying all the bills from a single paycheck for the first time in years. If there are children involved, you may have to pay child support. But when the court orders spousal support, this is one of the most significant expenses you face.

What Is Spousal Support?

Also called alimony or spousal maintenance, spousal support is court-ordered payments intended to help a dependent spouse get back on their feet or ease financial hardship.

After the property division has been handled, if one spouse has additional needs, spousal support often plays a part.

If each side can maintain roughly the same lifestyle enjoyed during the marriage, this may not come to pass. But if there is a substantial gap or any of multiple other factors, it does.

Related Reading: Dividing Debt During Divorce in Oregon

What Factors Affect Support Payment Amounts?

The court considers many things when determining spousal support. Among others, the list includes:
- Length of the marriage.
- Standard of living experienced during the marriage.
- Age of the requesting spouse.
- If one spouse financially supported the other.
- If a spouse has a physical disability.
- The mental and emotional health of the dependent party.
- Outstanding financial obligations.
Related Reading: How is Property Divided in Divorce?

What Types Of Spousal Support Are There?

Oregon has three types of spousal support. Less formulaic than child support, the amount and duration of the payments vary a great deal depending on the situation. In most cases, the number is based on need and what is just and equitable given the circumstances.

Transitional Support

Transitional spousal support is precisely what it sounds like. It’s awarded to one party to help smooth over the move from marriage back to single life. Shorter in duration and not usually as long-term a commitment, this is most common in brief and mid-length marriages.

Transitional support usually comes into play to help one spouse get training or education that aids in advancing job prospects and earning potential.

Related Reading: Common Financial Mistakes in Divorce

Compensatory Support

Less common than the transitional variety, the court may award compensatory support in some cases. If the division of property skews substantially to one party, this comes into play.

In situations where one party contributed a great deal to the career and future financial prospects of the other, the judge may also award this. For example, if you worked full-time to support your partner through college. Then the court may order this type of support.

Of the three types, this is the least common.

Related Reading: What You Should Know About the Cost of Divorce

Maintenance Support

When it comes to longer marriages, the court often mandates you or your spouse pay maintenance support. This type of payment is awarded most often when there is a sizeable disparity in earning power. In many cases, this is a gap that may never close.

The court can order temporary maintenance support, but these payments can continue indefinitely and remain open-ended. This is especially true when one spouse may be unable to find suitable future employment due to health issues or other reasons.

While these are the three types of spousal support, the court can also award a combination. For example, the court may order larger payments during the post-divorce transition period. But once situations become more settled, that may shift to a smaller amount.

Related Reading: Support Modification Facts

How Are Spousal Support Payments Taxed?

The sweeping tax plan Congress passed at the end of 2017 made substantial changes to divorce settlements, specifically how the government taxes spousal support.

Prior to December 31, 2018, these payments constituted income for the receiving party. The government taxed them as such. These financial disbursements were considered an ‘above-the-line’ deductible for the paying spouse.

As of January 1, 2019, for new court orders that include spousal support provisions, the party paying spousal support is not able to deduct this amount. Instead, the recipient must now pay taxes on this amount.

So, if you have a spousal support order that was in place before 2019, the old regulations still apply. However, if you modify a pre-existing order, the modification will be subject to the new laws.

Related Reading: Creating an Effective Divorce Strategy

What if One Spouse Remarries?

In general, spousal support doesn’t automatically change in cases where either party remarries. Even if the household income drastically shifts.

In some cases, the court may alter the original agreement, but if you’re looking for this, you generally have to file a case to modify the existing orders. To accomplish this, you must prove a substantial change in circumstances. But even then, courts are often reluctant to change a preexisting order.

In the best of circumstances, support modification is still a long, expensive uphill battle.

Related Reading: Can My Ex Come After My New Spouse’s Income?

How Can You Protect Yourself?

Because spousal support modification is so difficult, it’s critical to be vigilant when establishing it in the first place.

Once the amount is set, it can be time-consuming and costly to alter. So be patient and make sure you completely understand the situation before signing anything.

Financial matters following divorce have a huge impact on your life moving forward. No one wants to start their next chapter in a hole. As things can become so tangled, it will likely be in your best interest to consult an experienced attorney. This may give you the best chance for an optimal outcome.
June 10, 2026
What is a Civil Standby in Oregon?
Key Takeaways:
- A civil standby grants the person affected by the restraining order the opportunity to collect personal effects without fear of legal action or arrest.
- In Oregon, you request a civil standby through your local police department.
- Officers are dispatched to meet the person restricted by the restraining order.
- The person restricted by the restraining order has a maximum of 20 minutes to collect their belongings.
- If item ownership is disputed, further legal action will be necessary to prove ownership and the item must be left at the property.
- Police on scene will not settle any ownership disputes, they are simple there as a chaperone.
It’s no secret that divorces often become contentious. Conflict forms a big part of the proceedings. Depending on the circumstances, many involve the use of restraining orders. These court orders can be useful tools to protect people and assets. When discussing restraining orders, it’s also often useful to talk about civil standby orders.

Restraining orders cover a variety of areas. Most notably, the courts use them to protect a person’s safety and well-being. During divorce proceedings, people commonly use them to prevent an ex from taking money from joint accounts, raiding retirement savings, or running up debt.

Courts also often employ them to control the behavior of one or both spouses. For example, a restraining order may bar your ex from contacting you or coming to your home.

This is where civil standbys come into play.

What is a Civil Standby?

Simply put, a civil standby gives the person affected by the restraining order the opportunity to collect personal effects without violating the court order.

If you’re barred from home, this affords you the chance to gather clothes and other belongings without fear of legal action or arrest.

Regardless of whether you’re the petitioner on a restraining order or the respondent, it’s important to understand how a civil standby works. It’s especially vital to know their limitations.

Related Reading: Can Mental Illness Impact Divorce and Custody?

How Does A Civil Standby Work?

In Oregon, you request a civil standby through your local police department.

Officers are dispatched to meet the person restricted by the restraining order at a neutral location. They then brief the respondent and accompany this person to the place in question. This person then has a maximum of 20 minutes to collect their belongings.

If there is a dispute, the item in question remains at the property. The respondent then must take further legal action to establish ownership.

Related Reading: What are the Grounds for Divorce in Oregon?

How Are the Police Involved?

This last point is important as it illustrates one of the key limitations of a civil standby. There are specific things a police officer will and will not do in this process.

Key among these is that officers will not step in to settle any disputes over who owns an item. Think of the officers as chaperones there to ensure everyone stays safe and plays by the rules.
- They accompany one party and supervise the removal of undisputed essential property. That is all.
- They won’t get involved in quarrels. You and your ex must figure that out on your own.
- If there is a disagreement about ownership, you must settle that at a later date. In this situation, you likely want to talk with your divorce attorney. You may have to pursue an enforceable court order to collect items in dispute.
- If the time exceeds 20 minutes and the respondent refuses to leave or becomes uncooperative, they can then be arrested for violating the restraining order.
- A civil standby does not guarantee access to the property.
- The police can’t require the petitioner of the original order to grant entry.
- Police are present to ensure no crime is committed and no injury is incurred.
In cases where restraining orders come into play, a civil standby can be a useful tool. Especially from a practical standpoint, as it can gain you access to items you need that may have been left behind. That said, it’s important to know what they can and can’t do, whichever side you find yourself on.

Related Reading: Writs of Assistance, Divorce, and Child Custody: What to Know
June 2, 2026
Establishing Paternity in Oregon: What You Need To Know
Key Takeaways:
- Fathers do not have rights unless paternity has been established.
- In Oregon, if the parents are married, the law presumes the husband is the child’s father.
- For unmarried parents, the mother and father typically sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity at the time of birth.
- If that wasn’t signed, a voluntary DNA test is the easiest way to establish paternity.
- If there is no agreement, the state can establish paternity through the court.
- Once established, fathers have equal rights.
- After signing the paternity affidavit, you have one year to request a DNA test.
- If you discover potential fraud or misconduct, you have one year from then to request a DNA test.
We love our kids, and our worlds often revolve around our children. Which is why child custody cases grow so heated, raw, and emotional. It’s also why establishing paternity and paternity fraud are such big issues when it comes to family law.

Custody cases get complicated and contentious. There are parenting plans and visitation to arrange, child support payments to determine, and many other hurdles. Issues of paternity further muddy the waters. At best, it makes the process even trickier; at worst, it upends your entire life.

How Is Paternity Established In Oregon?

On a basic level, establishing paternity means determining the identity of a child’s father.

Several ways exist for parents and the courts to accomplish this. Some are easy and straightforward, while others are a bit more involved.

The easiest and most obvious way to establish paternity is to do so voluntarily.

In the case of unmarried parents, the mother and father sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity. This legally declares they are the parents, and then they can add the father to the birth certificate.

Parents can accomplish this at the time of birth or at any time afterward. Unless the mother was married to someone else at any time while pregnant.

In Oregon, if the parents are married, the law presumes the husband is the child’s father unless proven otherwise.

Additionally, if a man resides with a woman and child as a family, acts as a father, and establishes a paternal bond, the court may also presume he is the father. In these cases, even if a man is not a biological parent, the law may recognize him as such.

If there is no agreement, the state can establish paternity through the court. DNA testing is the most common and accurate method for determining a child’s biological father.

Related Reading: Best Interests Of The Child

Why Establishing Paternity Is Important

Aside from the matter of creating a residential schedule or determining child support, establishing paternity is important for many reasons.

Chief among them is a child’s right to know who their parents are, if they so desire. Not everyone wants that, and not everyone wants to have their parents in their lives. Still, it’s valuable to have the choice.

Knowing a child’s lineage and family medical history often helps head off health concerns. It’s imperative to know if a child is at risk for hereditary conditions or other issues. If something serious does develop, it’s often vital to identify relatives with compatible blood and tissue types.

A child may qualify for certain benefits from both parents. In most cases, there must be firm paternity for the child to receive these.

This includes:
- Social Security.
- Veteran’s benefits.
- Inheritance.
- Life insurance.
- Even health coverage often requires concrete paternity.
Being a single parent is difficult in many ways, and money is a huge part of that. The law requires both parents to contribute financially to raising the child. That way, the entire economic burden doesn’t fall on the shoulders of one parent alone. Not knowing the identity of a child’s father makes this understandably difficult.

Related Reading: Do Grandparents Have Child Custody Rights?

Establishing Paternity And Parental Rights

The courts increasingly recognize the importance of involving both parents in a child’s life. That’s all well and good, but you have few, if any, rights unless you establish paternity. This is perhaps the greatest reason to do this.

Being the legally recognized father provides all of the rights, as well as the responsibilities, of a parent.

You essentially have the right to be a part of the child’s life, barring certain circumstances. This generally only happens in situations of abuse or neglect, or in cases where one parent poses a potential threat to a child.

Once you establish paternity, you have the right to visitation and even to pursue child custody.

On the other hand, establishing paternity comes with responsibilities.

In most cases, the courts award child support payments to the custodial parent. If you’re a parent, you’re obligated to contribute financially to raising the child. When you have custody, it’s your duty to raise and care for the child.

Related Reading: Can I Sign Away Parental Rights?

Set Aside Paternity

Beyond this, the situation often becomes even more complex.

In Oregon, after signing the Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity, the father can request removal of his name from the birth certificate within 60 days if there is reason to.

This essentially rescinds his claim. In cases of fraud, if he signed under duress or if there was a mistake, this can happen even after 60 days.

After signing the affidavit, you have one year to request DNA tests, if that didn’t already happen. You also have a year to petition the court to set aside paternity in the case of errors or neglect.

If you discover a case of fraud, misrepresentation, or misconduct, you also have a year from the discovery to make a similar request. If the statute of limitations runs out, it has serious consequences.

Paternity Fraud

In some cases, due to intentional deception, a man winds up supporting a child he thought was his but actually isn’t.

The overriding presumption is that, when a man finds out he’s the victim of paternity fraud, he won’t want to continue to act as a father to a child that isn’t biologically his. That’s not always the case, however.

In some instances, where a man has acted as a father for quite some time, he can retain parental rights, even if there’s no genetic relationship. Paternal feelings don’t necessarily evaporate once you see a set of test results on the page.

Related Reading: Can Your Ex Relocate With Your Kids?

Consequences of Paternity Fraud

Mistaken paternity, whether the result of an accident or deliberate fraud, has significant consequences. This includes the children as well as the parents.

Learning that a father figure isn’t actually a father can cause quite a traumatic shock to a child, especially in younger years.

Willfully obscuring family histories opens children up to additional health risks. Hereditary diseases and ailments may creep in undetected because no one is looking out for them. Potential life-threatening allergies can be passed from generation to generation in the shadows.

This is certainly extreme, but there are stories of otherwise avoidable catastrophes happening in these situations. Most situations won’t be life-or-death, but the possibility is there.

There are ways to protect yourself from paternity fraud. Some people even push for obligatory DNA tests at birth.

Related Reading: Fathers’ Rights And Child Custody
May 18, 2026
Split Custody: Will Courts Separate Siblings?
Key Takeaways:
- The court’s primary concern is the best interest of the children.
- In most cases, the authorities view keeping brothers and sisters together as in the best interests.
- Unless there are extenuating circumstances, such as one child legitimately posing a threat to the other, the court rarely separates siblings.
- If the children themselves request split custody and have a legitimate reason to want to live with one parent over the other, the court may take this into account.
- If custody is split, parenting plans must account for siblings’ time together.
- Creating and agreeing on parental visitation can already be difficult; factoring in split custody can turn it into a logistical nightmare.
Divorce brings changes in living situations, new schools, and uncertainty. Siblings often lean on each other to make it through these tough times. But during the process, the question arises: Under what circumstances will the courts separate siblings in a divorce?

What Is Split Custody?

Split custody is an agreement that divides a family’s children, with one or more children living with each parent. The good news is that, unless there are extenuating circumstances, the court rarely separates siblings in divorce.

The Best Interests of the Child

When it comes to child custody in Oregon, the court’s primary concern is the best interest of the children. In most cases, the authorities view keeping brothers and sisters together as the ideal choice.

Children go through so much during the process that judges hesitate to add to that. This includes separating siblings after the divorce.

Many studies show the benefits of siblings staying together in the wake of divorce. These often-cited positives include:

Stability: In times of great change and upheaval, children tend to cling to any sense of stability. With new living situations, stepfamilies, shuttling back and forth between households, and more, this is frequently a sibling.

Comfort: It’s reassuring for a child to know they don’t have to go through this alone. Having a sibling nearby during tough times provides comfort and eases stress. It’s common to hear siblings talk about the relief of having a brother or sister around during divorce.

Support: Support has many meanings. It can be in the practical sense of the word, like having someone to help with homework. But it also often means something along the lines of moral support. Again, sometimes simply having a consistent presence around helps a great deal.

Caretaking: Siblings who have gone through a divorce often mention that one sibling serves as a caretaker or protector as a benefit of not having split custody. Older siblings frequently help younger ones understand what’s going on or even shield them from less-than-pleasant realities.

For these reasons, among others, the court is generally reluctant to separate siblings in a divorce. That doesn’t mean, however, that split custody doesn’t happen sometimes.

Related Reading: Parental Evaluations In Oregon

When Will a Judge Split Up Siblings?

Because the courts usually view keeping siblings together after divorce as in the children’s best interest, they rarely order split custody. A judge typically won’t separate siblings simply because it suits one parent or the other.

However, if breaking up the band truly does serve the children’s best interests, it can happen.

Safety is one example of a situation in which the court may order split custody. For instance, if a brother and sister cannot live safely together, a judge may order them to be separated.

This type of situation goes beyond a normal antagonistic relationship between siblings. Conflict happens to just about everyone with brothers or sisters. We’re talking about a scenario where one child legitimately poses a threat to the other.

If there’s a potential danger, and if one parent is better suited to deal with the situation, a judge may separate siblings. If things are this bad, however, it’s probably best to consult a mental health professional if you haven’t already.

Related Reading: Custody: Best Interests of the Children and What That Means

What If Children Request Split Custody?

The court won’t necessarily separate siblings to accommodate parents. But what if the children themselves request split custody?

Again, in these situations, the children’s best interest remains the chief concern, regardless of preference.

The court is under no obligation to consider such a request. That said, if a child is old enough and has a legitimate reason to want to live with one parent over the other, the court may—emphasis on may—take this into account.

There are many reasons a child might prefer split custody. In most cases, it has to do with the parent/child relationship. If a son is close to his father but has a strained relationship with his mother, it makes sense that he would want to live with his father.

Additionally, an older sibling may also want to live apart from a younger brother or sister. This may provide a sense of independence or freedom that they often crave at that age.

There are as many reasons for a child to request split custody as there are children. But again, if it isn’t in their best interest, the court won’t likely honor such a request.

Whatever the living situation, it must truly be in their best interest. It can’t just be, “Mom lets me stay out as long as I want,” or “Dad doesn’t care if I do my homework.” There needs to be actual substance to the claims, or they won’t fly.

Effects on Parenting Plans

In child custody cases, parenting plans lay out all of the aspects of the living situation. This includes primary custody, visitation schedules, child support, and more.

Custody plans become tangled in the best circumstances. If the court separates siblings, it often creates a logistical nightmare.

Parenting plans specify the time parents spend with their children. When it comes to split custody, visitation must also account for siblings’ time together. This further complicates an already complex situation. Yet another reason why the courts prefer not to separate siblings in divorce.

Related Reading: Enforcing A Parenting Plan

Financial Burdon

As so frequently happens in divorce, split custody often comes down to money.

If a parent believes that supporting multiple children is an excessive financial burden, they may ask the court to order the siblings to be separated.

When it comes down to it, this is unfounded in most cases. When the court awards custody, the custodial parent is ideally entitled to an adequate level of child support.

These payments cover the cost of basics like:
- Food.
- Shelter.
- Medical care.
- Clothing.
- Educational and other expenses.
This amount varies with the number of children. The court considers numerous factors when calculating child support, but there is a form ula.

The court wants to ensure a child’s economic needs are met. They account for:
- The level of need.
- The income of both parents.
- Parenting time.
- Other considerations they deem relevant.
While there are circumstances in which parents or children may request that the court separate siblings in a divorce, in most cases, it’s not even an option. Divorce and custody battles are tough on everyone, especially kids. Courts are reluctant to do anything that adds to this burden, including awarding split custody.

Related Reading: Writ of Assistance, Divorce, and Child Custody
May 11, 2026